A Transcript

Telephone call recorded in Ahmedabad, 9 May 2008
Participants are known only as H and S.

H: Hi babes, how's it going? Is your face better? I'm so sorry again for the slap.
S: It's going fine. And I forgive you for the slap. I'm over the slap and want to move on. Making up after we fought was the sweetest pleasure I've ever known.
H: Same for me too.

S: People still don't really believe we've made up though. Even when we said that we wanted to share a room, they just laughed. Is it time to leak our special video?
H: No, no, no, that's the nuclear option and must be kept only for the most exceptional circumstances.
S: But what else do we have left?
H: What about a special ceremony publicly declaring our feelings each other?
S: Good idea H. We'd better start planning it.

H: We'd walk in together to "My Heart Will Go On".
S: Oh. I was hoping for Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits.
H: It's "My Heart Will Go On" or I'm not doing it.

S: OK, ok, calm down.
H: I'm perfectly calm.
S: Oh let's not fight again baby.

H: Then I thought we'd have a reading. Andrew Symonds could read an exerpt from "The Prophet".
S: Oh, yes, I like that.
H: Then I want to sing "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera, to you.
S: And I'll sing "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain, to you.
H: Then another reading: Ricky Ponting, sonnet 120 - "That you were once unkind befriends me now".

S: Then a song for all present to sing together.
H: "Hit me baby one more time"?
S: That's not funny.
H: Sorry. What about "Hit me with your rhythm stick?"
S: Again, not funny.
H: What about Tom Lehrer's "Masochism Tango"?
S: *cries*
H: FINE. What do you want then? Roy Orbison "Crying"?
S: "Drama" by Erasure.

H: (sigh). Fine. Then, we could convey how we feel for each other through the medium of interpretive dance.

S: We also need to decide on what we wear.
H: I was thinking powder blue Hedi Slimane suits.
S: Excellent call.

H: Well, I think we've pretty much got this wrapped so hang up now S.
S: No you hang up.
H: No you hang up.
S: Let's both hang up at the same time.
H: ok.

(5 seconds pass)

H: You're still there aren't you?
S: Yes. but so are you
H: Right now we really are going (hangs up).
S: Are you still there? Hello? *cries*.

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