Uncle J Rod's guide to writing a cricket blog - episode 6

This is episode 6 in the Guide to writing a cricket blog, to read all episodes click here.

<p class="MsoNormal">Advanced blogging.
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<p class="MsoNormal">I would assume now after my guidance you have a fairly successful blog with a good name that people can Rss feed and you are on 20 or so blog rolls.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Now you need to step that sh1t up.
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<p class="MsoNormal">How, I hear you ask rather impatiently.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Through targeting the right audiences.
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<p class="MsoNormal">First thing you will need to do is know a few things about your country that people can’t find on Cricinfo.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Knowing one’s home country is an important part of blogging, as it gives you an edge over googlers and the like.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Second thing is to talk about India as much as possible.
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<p class="MsoNormal">There are about 83 kabillion in India, all of them like cricket, and all of the one with real houses own computers.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Computers + Cricket = Your blog getting hits.
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<p class="MsoNormal">I have told you to pander to them before, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t, just mentuion them all the time.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Mention the IPL.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Mention MS Gony and his baby.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Mention Sunil and his latest weird comments.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Mention all the Navjot Sidhu jokes you can think of.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Because India will look after your “hits”.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Thirdly, write in depth accurate piss takings of the English team.
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<p class="MsoNormal">India may give you hits, but England will give you respect in the wider community.
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<p class="MsoNormal">England may still be rubbish at the game they invented, but just like children of bi-polar parents, people still care for them.
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<p class="MsoNormal">England seems to give endless material to work with as well, so that helps.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Fourthy, the lady and pink market.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Don’t for one minute think ladies are not an important part of the cricket blogosphere.
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<p class="MsoNormal">This site has 25% of it’s hits from ladies.
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<p class="MsoNormal">I have been unable to tell how many of the hits I from gay Bombay an such, but I assume they come along as well.
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<p class="MsoNormal">How do I get th lady readers, well I talk about the hunks of Cricket, Vettori, Watson, Dhoni and Dirty Dirk.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The ladies (and select men) love that stuff, and will tell their other lady friends about your site and suddenly you are a co-ed cricket blog.
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<p class="MsoNormal">This will help with the blog getting you laid, which is obviously the ultimate aim for any cricket blogger.
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<p class="MsoNormal">If you are a lady blogger, then you are already chin deep in the fellas I bet.
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<p class="MsoNormal">So to reacap.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Your country = knowledge
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<p class="MsoNormal">India = hits
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<p class="MsoNormal">England = respect
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then you have the world by the balls.
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<p class="MsoNormal">It will then be time to use more of your radical right wing politics in the blog.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Compare Sunil Gavaskar to your favourite media whore, Bill O’Reilly.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Talk about George Dubya in terms that Ricky Ponting could understand.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Press home your radical plan for all test batsman to say prayers before each innings.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Explain why people should ban Muslim cricketers, and stone atheist cricketers.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then pick a cricketer (not Andre Nel, he is mine), and you and him can take over the world and get all the chicks (or dudes) you want.

www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.