Joe Average, schooled by slow mo

In the old days of film making, a director learnt his craft working on films in all sorts of other roles before he convinced someone he could direct.

Then came film schools, where eager young nerds plied their trade until someone saw their 4 hour opus on an egg and gave them a real job.

In recent times a lot of directors have learnt their craft via the directors commentary and the other special extras you can view on DVD’s.

Cricket has been similar to film, it started with learning on the job, moved to academies and now cricketers are learning from new viewing technology.

Bryce was a late starter in all aspects of cricket, he didn’t start playing district cricket until the age of 21, an age where most hopefuls have played at least 5 years already.

At 28 was the first time he received proper coaching on leg spinning.

27 was the age that English spinner Alex Loudon retired from cricket to be a boring fucker.

But McGain looks about as likely to retire from cricket as I am to join the Simon Katich fan club.

How did Joe Average become Bryce McGain, without formal training, academies and molly coddling from well meaning coaches.

The same way nerds learn how to speak Klingon, by watching way too closely.

The slow mo camera lets him watch the tenhniques in a way that lets him study every nuance of the delievery.

The speed clock lets him see when and by how much a spinner is varying his pace.

And the super duper long lens lets Bryce see the warts on other leg spinners hands.

Bryce isn’t a spectator, he is a student, a voyeur, he studies the game, like a virgin watching porn.

Learning from the subtlies, working out the field placements, trying to work out their tactics and watching the speed gun.

All these things that we take for granted as part of our entertainment, Bryce uses to get himself ready for international cricket.

This is the difference between you, the dude who won’t get up to take a piss, and Bryce.

He is not watching merely watching the cricket, he is the cricket.

It’s a zen thing, ask Phil Jackson.

By his own admission, “It’d be nice to be able to just watch the cricket and drink some cans and not even think about it”.

While you and I are watching cricket and turning into fat useless assholes, Bryce is using his viewing time to hone his skills for a potential match up with Sourav Ganguly or someone good.

Bryce is such a good student of the game he can watch a shithouse spinner and still get something from it “you pull your hair out and say Oh My God how are they playing test cricket, but there is stuff to learn off that as well.

Bryce still uses the Tv as a weapon in global domination, but he also has private sessions with Australia’s favourite ex jailbird Terry Jenner.

With Terry Jenner and a Remote control on his side, nothing can stop him now.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.