LIVE BLOG: Actual in-depth review of the IPL Final

Dear balls fans

I am bravely taking a huge leap into the unknown, and will be LIVE BLOGGING the IPL Final. It starts at 3.30pm UK time, so stay with me, refresh this page every few minutes and send me your comments if you fancy. [b]SCROLL DOWN - YES DOWN - FOR THE LIFE UPDATES.[/b]

To raise the stakes even further, I will be adhering to these guidelines.

Suave says "Let's see how you're doing in three hours time!". Quite... let's hope for no hat-tricks, for my sake.

Spunout says: "I'm liking all this live blogging - it's as if CwB is the new Cricinfo". The Jrod doesn't like this idea. I am more worried about Spunout's level of expectation.

[b]This blog will, in nostalgic memory for the old-style Guardian OBO, be a "scroll down - yes DOWN - for updates" blog.[/b] Jrod reckons this is bloody stupid and that the English place tradition above common sense.

Spunout says Do you think we could have some graphs, like the Guardian? Here's one to get you started, even though it has nothing to do with the IPL". Spunout is correct in that graph has nothing to do with the IPL, but there will be no graphs. You will be lucky enough to get words.

If you want something to think about during the boring shots of the cheerleaders, why not ponder on who might be the most babyfaced wicket keeper out of Parthiv Patel, Kamran Akmal, Denesh Ramdin and Mushfiqur Rahim?

Dave says "If I had a baby that looked like Kamran Akmal, I'd put it up for adoption". Dave, adoption agencies have it hard enough as it is.
Food / drink update: I have a bottle of cava and a huge bowl of noodles to get me through the afternoon. <p align="justify">
So, Rajasthan v Chennai. There's been some kind of closing ceremony and they're currently clearing up after that. The commentator says the IPL will be back next year, "probably with some of England's stars".

The post-ceremony clear-up is actually delaying the start. Is anyone actually capable of organising anything properly these days?

The presenter just pronounced "Wankhede" in a very rude way.

Oh damnit, we've missed the toss because they went to a commercial break. Warne wins, Rajasthan will [b]bowl first.[/b]
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Team news: Chennai look like this: PA Patel (wicket), S Vidyut, SK Raina, MS Dhoni, CK Kapugedera, S Badrinath, JA Morkel, M Gony, L Balaji, M Muralitharan, M Ntini.
Rajasthan: Kamran Akmal (wicket), SA Asnodkar, YK Pathan, M Kaif, SR Watson, NK Patel, RA Jadeja, SK Warne, SK Trivedi, MM Patel, Sohail Tanvir. Graeme Smith is hurt.

Pitch: an odd colour, apparently. White. This is a pitch report that even I could do. Openers are encouraged by Sunil to try to get on the front foot. Damien Fleming is there, wearing a green Indian outfit. Arun Lal is in purple. Oh they just did a cheesy "yeah" thing together.

Warne gives good interview doesn't he. Managed to say, with a perfectly straight face, that he has enjoyed the company of Graeme Smith. Wants to restrict Chennai to 150.

If there's any justice, Rajasthan should win this.

Spunout says "Every time Warne says Chennai, I think he's saying 'Jedi' - now THAT would be a 20/20 match worth watching". Spunout, why they didn't call themselves the Chennai Jedi I do not know.

OMGPONIES! A Sachin sighting! As per the drinking game post, that's 2 fingers.

[b]THE CRICKET IS STARTING!!![/b]

Patel and Vidyut are out to bat. Tanvir has the ball. Has an economy rate of about 6 an over.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 1 - [/b]Bowden and Koertzen are the umpires. Babyface Patel is facing. Big LBW shout first ball. FOUR! wristily out to fine leg. The fielder is moving in so less square. Rajasthan's kit makes them look like Lankans. Score: 6 - 0.

Jrod says "Ryan Campbell bagged Fleming for wearing a dress, not very PC, but that is why i love him". I think Fleming looks kinda hot in the dress.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 2 [/b]- Shane "nudie pics please" Watson is bowling. The lighting is DEEPLY unflattering on his complexion. Bowls a short one, gives a long stare and an "ooooh". He can't really pull that off, just looks a bit gay. FOUR! Score: 12 - 0.
<p align="justify">Q says "It looks like the commentating team have a wedding to attend after the match...Did anyone read what Brett Geeves had to say when he attended Dilshan's wedding in Delhi?". Q, I think they look pretty. I missed the Brett Geeves thing - wanna enlighten?
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 3 - [/b]Munaf Patel is bowling. Chennai work the singles. Goodness me Ravi Shastri is a handsome man. Score: 16 - 0.
<p align="justify">Q says: Its a strange one for the mumbai gay website Uncle J talked about recently - they would want to see Watson bowl well and beat the batsmen, but they wouldn't want to see Akmal holding on to Watson's balls... Q! Naughty!
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 4 - [/b]Watson is still on. FOUR! Also some pretty good fielding from Rajasthan, that's the second time someone has flung themselves in front of a certain 4. SIX! DLF MAXIMUM! That's 2 fingers of my drink. Score: 29-0.
<p align="justify">Jrod is wondering whether I am doing the OBO properly, with my scrolldown format. I am doing the OLD-STYLE Guardian OBO format, so that it reads like a story, because thats the way (uhuh uhuh) I like it (uhuh uhuh).
<p align="justify">Q gives me this: ""It was mesmeric. The music, the clothes that they wore, the atmosphere was completely a new experience for me." A dazzled Brett Geeves speaks after attending Tillakaratne Dilshan's wedding in New Delhi". Brett, did they give you something special to smoke as well?
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 5 - [/b]Munaf stays on. SACHIN SIGHTING! 2 fingers, everybody. FOUR! Apparently Munaf can be predictable with his length. No lady likes that. Score: 39-0.
<p align="justify">Homer says: "need to change the drinking guidelines Miriam (at the rate Chennai are going, I will barely be done with a glass by half time)..Can we have a finger for a four?". Homer, I hear ya. I'm counting on the Sachin sightings getting me through.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 6 - [/b]Yusuf Pathan is on. WICKET!!!!!!!!! Vidyut OUT, Bowled Pathan, good diving catch by Jadeja. I am glad I don't have to type Vidyut's first name. He got 16. Raina is in. Another babyface. Big LBW shout against Patel (the batsmen crossed). Score:42 - 1.
<p align="justify">The comments are coming in quick and fast so I have to stop quoting them, but will paraphrase. Q asks if I saw Aamir Khan with his nephew. No, but how many fingers does one drink for that? Dave also asks what DLF stands for. I think it's "Dear Little Friend" as per The Chronicles of Narnia. Jrod notes this blog's history re Ravi Shastri fancying, and I say long may that continue.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 7 - [/b]Siddarth Trivedi is on. GOOD NAME. Ooh, good face too. FOUR! I hope you all downed your drinks at the fall of wicket. Q enlightens us again: DLF is Delhi Land and Finance. Nearly a run out but Patel flings himself into the dirt and is safe. Score: 51-1.
<p align="justify">Does anyone know how to make the text a bit smaller, or compressed?
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 8 - [/b]Warnie Warnie Warnie. Q has corrected some of my errors, and I have edited them accordingly. Jrod wants me to call Trivedi "Mr 15%". Chennai / Jedi work a single a ball. Score: 57-1.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 9 - [/b]Yusuf Pathan back. Has apparently been "tickled around a bit", say the commentators. I agree with Homer, who asks if they have become Tony Greig. Q asks Jrod to explain the Mr 15% reference. Jrod? FOUR! BUT: WICKET!!!!! Patel OUT bowled Pathan c Akmal! What a hilarious dismissal! we all thought it was a missed stumping because of the way it bobbled around but it was in fact a catch! both wickets to Pathan so far. DRINK UP!
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 10 - [/b]Warnie! DLF mention, that's 1 finger. and a DLF Maximum Six from Raina! it's "gone the distance"! it's alcoholic carnage. Score: 75 - 2.
<p align="justify">Apparently the 15% is a reference to Trivedi's action. Mel asks if I am going commando. Mel, I am fully dressed, and have put my hair in a ponytail to show how serious I am.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 11 - [/b]Pathan, who has indeed stepped up for the Royals, I agree Q, continues. He's economical as houses at the moment. 77 - 2.
<p align="justify">Q asks who invited Sachin (re his alcohol consumption). I'm just glad SRK isn't here.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 12 - [/b]Warne back. Arul Lal is interviewing one of the franchise owners. I personally would prefer to see Warne bowl, but hey. SIX!!! Another DLF Maximum Six! from Morkel. That was indeed huge. I have to say, I love the combo of Warne and Akmal's appealing. 87-2.
<p align="justify">Re SRK, it's a good thing he's, as Dave points out, busy being such a "wonderful human being", because otherwise I'd need to chill a few more bottles of cava.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 13 - [/b]Pathan continues. SIX but NOT a DLF six. Albie smacks a big one and Watson kindly tips it over the boundary for him. WICKET!!!!! AND, OUCH, painful looking collision between fielders! Morkel gone. Bowled Pathan (that man again) caught eventually by Kamran Akman who currently looks to be in a fair bit of pain actually. Kaif, the other fielder, took one in the head too. People are getting medical treatment, but the commentator is taking positives and noting that a wicket has been taken. Dhoni has come on and is taking to Warnie. Cos Rajasthan have no other keeper, you see. I will keep you posted...
<p align="justify">Akmal gets up, dusts himself off, continues, but Kaif has left the field. MS Dhoni is the new batsman. Score: 97 - 3.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 14 - [/b]Mr 15% Trivedi is on. Watson saves the boundary. Sachin Sighting! Q thinks Warney looks tense, Jrod reckons Warney looks relaxed. SIX! to Raina. Just clears Jadeja on the boundary. Trivedi does the Shaun Pollock loopy slow bouncer rather nicely. Score: 109-3.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 15 [/b]- Warne on, looking to cause Dhoni some trouble. Dhoni responds with a big SIX! straight down the ground, that has "gone the distance", but NOT a DLF six. Score: 117-3 and that's it for Warney's bowling today.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 16 - [/b]Tanvir back. Damien Fleming describes him as "a man of exquisite skill and prominent chin". I thought I'd misheard him, but no, he went on to make a Jay Leno joke. Oh. my. god. the bling on the trophy is FRICKIN UNBELIEVABLE. FOUR Raina straight down the ground. Oh, Raina's shirt number is wrong so part of it is obscured by elastoplast. I think that's 2 fingers, people. Score: 127 - 3.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 17 - [/b]Shane Watson on. Fleming notes, as Watson and Warne talk, that they are "the 2 peroxide blondes in action". Lal / Fleming are wondering whether Tanvir should have been brought back on sooner. WICKET!! Raina out hitting it high and straight down the ground but not getting the distance. Bowled Watson caught Jadeja. New bat - Kapugedera. A Lankan! Lal/Fleming are now complaining about the time taken to bowl this order. Well it suits me fine, gives me time to type. Score: 130 - 4.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 18 - [/b]Tanvir. Q, if you would like to amend the drinking game guidelines to involve every celebrity sighting, be my guest. Jrod notes that Damien Fleming is an "eastern suburbs" man and I get the impression this isn't a compliment. Jrod, the first podcast, people said you sounded like him but you don't. FOUR at the end of the over. Score: 139 - 4.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 19 - [/b]Watson back on. Q notes that Lal/Fleming are moaning about penalising the bowling team, but that the match started late. Good point Q. Ooh, a shot of a wistful Graeme Smith. Kapugedera is having a good swipe at everything. Jadeja is having an excellent day in the field, saves another sure-fire boundary. 148 - 4.
<p align="justify">[b]OVER 20 - [/b]Tanvir. WICKET!!! Kapugedera hits one down the ground and it's caught a few metres in from the boundary by Asnodkar. Badrinath is the new bat. SIX!!! Dhoni creams one straight. DLF! Anonymous notes, re Q wanting more reasons to drink, that it's a shame Bangalore didn't get through because one Misbah dismissal would have sorted him out. Q notes a hattrick is still on the cards (although not this innings). FOUR!! 3 fielders FLING themselves at Badrinath's shot in comedy fashion but no-one gets there.
<p align="justify">END OF INNINGS: 163 - 5. All to play for, I'd say! Game on. Homer is on Innuendo Spot today; Lal did indeed just suggest that Tanvir hits the blockhole and keeps ramming it in.
<p align="justify">Join me in a few minutes for Rajasthan's reply!
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