In bed with King Probot

Disclaimer: Yes, this is one of my perverted posts, not for the kiddies, or the mormons.

A while ago I wrote a post about everyone’s favourite player in the bedroom.

But it’s unfair to pick on just Jacques’ boudoir activities, because many cricketers have sex.

So I shall turn this into a series.

Mike Hussey, or King Probot as he is known around these parts, is a patient man.

He would wait for 10 years to sleep with his dream girl.

And when he got there he would be super prepared.

Were you his dream girl, he would know exactly what you wanted.

You would be whisked off to some romantic hotel with a view over what ever you like to look at, be it beach, mountain, or city park.

Upon entering the room, he would have set up your favourite chocolates, drinks, music and have the candles set up just they way they were in your fantasies.

He would be attentive to your every need.

You would receive all the special attention that you ladies have been looking for.

Back massages.

A bath where he washes your hair, romantically, not roughly like that episode where steve hurts miranda.

If your mother calls, he will wait patiently for you to finish talking to her, perhaps even rubbing your feet during that time.

Then after pressing play on Robbie Williams “Swing when you’re winning” he will start with the kissing.

Long passionate kisses, until he feels you actually swoon.

Then he leads you to the canopy bed, that he carefully spread rose petals over earlier.

Then he would go into the foreplay, this he is willing to spend hours on, but he will read your mood, and tailor the foreplay to suit what you require.

From there he will move into the love making, where he is technically proficient in every aspect that you desire.

He knows the exact way to pleasure you, he never forces to hard or to soft.

He takes risk, but they are calculated risks that he knows you will more than likely enjoy.

The session is long, super humanly long, but he never raises a sweat, and looks determined to finish the job, which he does several times over even when he struggles through a difficult middle patch.

Afterwards you lie back on this canopy bed, in this perfect hotel room, with the rose petals sticking to your thigh, Robbie crooning away, looking out the window on your prefect view.

You think about this session, and how it was almost perfect in every way, nothing was left to chance and in terms of quality and quantity it was everything you had ever hoped for.

But it is not Mike that you think of.

Instead all you can think of is the 3 minutes you spent in the back of cab with Afridi just before dawn one time.

You’d never tell Mike though, he is such a nice guy.

He’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re ok, and your mum will love him.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.