spring loaded stumps

...
I didn’t watch a lot of the one dayer between them and the Windies, cause I was working, but mostly cause it was crap.

But every time I looked up there were stumps cart wheeling everywhere.

In more respectable countries, after the wicket is disturbed, generally the stumps end up looking like Paris Hilton after a night out on the town.

In South Africa its more like Tara Reid.

And it’s not just for speed demons who bowl someone.

One ball had Marlon Samuels lashing a straight drive so hard that a stump almost gelded Mark Benson (I think, they all look the same to me, white people & umpires).

Then as they ran for 2 the ball was thrown to the keepers end as Samuels dived and Boucher took the bails off with all the sensitivity of a date rapist and yet again the stumps came flying out.

So there were stumps on the ground at both ends.

Stumps do come out of the ground in other countries, but never with the vitality and down right coolness that the do in South Africa.

I want more stumps that come out and geld umpires, it will add something to the sport.

Also I got to see the supervillian Morne Morkel in action. While he looked pretty average bowling, he did achieve a run out from his follow through with the most retarded wrong foot throw I’ve ever seen.

Oh and Johan Botha is a chucker. And ©rap.

Marlon Samuels smacked a brutal 98 before the evil empire conspired to derail his well smoted innings.www.cricketwithballs.com "the hooking & pulling specialists"