In the media, Australia is talking about not touring Pakistan, but behind ivory doors (made of Ivory caught by white men in Africa) they are apparently looking at changing the criteria’s Australia uses when touring any country.
Luckily I have a mole on the inside.
I just received this letter under my hotel room door, which is spooky, cause I’m not staying in a hotel.
Hi Cricket With Balls,
You may not remember me, I’m the faceless corporate cricket official, we met at a Cricket Australia event, it was the Duck and Dom Pérignon night at the Melbourne Club.
I’m a big fan of your site, I find it very liberating compared to the normal staid proper cricket sites, plus I like talking about balls.
Anyhoo, in the spirit of helping out all forms of media, I thought I’d give you the latest information straight from Cricket Australia’s Waugh room.
Cricket Australia has decided to only tour countries in the future that live up to the socio economical and free democratic world that Australia is fighting for.
Australia’s new touring guidelines
Bangladesh â€" We will only play them when the find bowlers capable of taking 5 wickets a test, and if they join the coalition of the willing.
England â€" No matter how many bombs blow up there or how stinky they continue to be, we shall fight them on the pitches for now and for every, great chaps they are.
India â€" Happy to tour there if Navjot Sidhu is locked up, if they join the coalition of the willing and when they successfully die the colour of their skin to something more acceptable.
New Zealand â€" Due to recent developments, games against NZ will be down graded to first class games, but if they continue to let refugees run free, we may play all first class games against them at home for safety reasons.
Pakistan â€" All tours are cancelled until they find they accept Jesus as their savior, or either George Bush.
South Africa â€" We will continue to tour there, but we would prefer the land was given back top its rightful owners, White Diamond merchants and British aristocrats.
Sri Lanka â€" We refuse to tour while the Sri Lankan government supports chuckers.
West Indies â€" Too many poor black people live there, they scare us.
Cheers and best wishes to you and all of the people you care for in the silly season,
FCCOwww.cricketwithballs.com "the hooking & pulling specialists"
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