My ultimate XI

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There is no cricket being played right at the moment, well none that greatly interests me.

So instead I thought I’d come up with my best cricket bloggers XI, a sort of half @ssed tribute to the cricket blog.

Now some of you will be p1ssed to miss out, but it doesn’t mean I like your blog less, it just means it was hard to fit in all 88 Indian cricket blogs or you haven’t been writing much lately.

When choosing a cricket team, I like to start with opening batsmen, which seems to be the opposite of how Indian selectors go about it. When I think of openers, I think of Englishmen, not sure why. I wanted someone dapper, someone sophisticated, someone reliable, someone bred like Mark Nicholas, someone who could charm the panties off a queen, so I picked Republique Cricket.

Being that Republique is still just a pup, I wanted a partner with experience to go in beside him, someone to say, settle down lad, I’ve been here before, so I chose The Cricket Watchers Journal from India. He brings an air of respectability to the changeroom.

Number 3 was an easy decision. I wanted grit, but with an attacking flare. King Cricket was the obvious choice, solid on all wickets and knows when to attack or just be british. He bats like Robert Key Would in heaven.

With two Englishmen in the top 3, I realised we may get a little boring to watch, so I went with Well Pitched from Pakistan next. Maybe not as extravagant as other Pakistani’s, but definitely not English. Most probably doesn't take cocaine.

For number 5, I wanted someone a bit angry, someone who could rip your head off just to get a single, so obviously I went with an Indian, Straight Point. He likes to hit the ball hard.

At number 6 I chose myself, because as we know, all great cricket teams need a Victorian Allrounder batting at Number 6. This is the only reason I didn’t pick myself at 3. I’d also like to give myself the vice captain position, but I’m not sure I’m mature enough just yet.

The wicket keeper was important to me, I wanted a specialist keeper, who was handy with the sledge and the willow. Someone who loves a scrap, even when he is losing, so who better than the New Zealand Sportsfreak. I’d also give him the vice captaincy, not cause he is a goody two shoes, but cause I think he’d have good input, although being that he is from Kiwi land he could never be captain, so I could still leap frog him.

At number 8 is our wrist spinning allrounder, and captain of this team, Are You a Left Arm Chinamen. Like Richie and Anil before him, he is intelligent enough to be a bowler and a captain, but can still score good runs. Also looks good in a blazer, I’d assume. I know he’ll lead this team well.

I looked long and hard for a bowler capable of bowling long spells into the wind on flat tracks, who better than a Mid Off fielder, so I slotted him in at 9. He is also harder to get out than a mutated child of Matthew Hoggard and Jason Gillespie.

Every team needs a young firebrand, so at number 10 we have Six & Out. Not capable of long spells, but is devastating in short bursts. Also can produce some long clean hits, when the mood suits her.

At number 11 is the old war horse seam bowler who just keeps getting wickets and sledging all day, After Grog Blog. Sure his batting is ordinary, and his hip is going, but on the 3rd day when the pitch is at its easiest to bat on, he is the man to find a wicket, by any means necessary.

Being that cricketers have a larger entourage than Whitney Houston these days, I should mention some of the other key members.

Coach - My two cents, a wise head, who is this teams version of Yoda. Except he has a better understanding of English than Yoda.

Team Manager â€" History of Cricket, when you're lodging appeals or fending off the media, you need the man who remembers every single occurrence in cricket history on your side.

Team Mascot â€" Oxen Shizer, I just think he could pull off a camp suit.

Physio â€" Cricket Blog, they just seem like they have soft hands.

Media Manager (& part time 12th man)â€" Island Express, if anyone could handle the press, this is our man.

I know I’ve missed some, but when I thought of this whilst wicket keeping in indoor cricket, it seemed like an easy blog, now it seems like my Ulysses.www.cricketwithballs.com "the hooking & pulling specialists"