Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lonely Planet Guide to the Oval

Following on from a comment on a previous post, here is a Lonely Planet-style guide to the Oval Cricket Ground. If you are exceptionally lucky, this may become one of a series.

HIGHLIGHTS:

- It's famous.

- Very distinctive ground, what with the gas towers and Alec Stewart gate.

- On big match days there's a reasonable selection of food.

- There are Dyson blade hand driers in the toilets, and these are simply the best thing ever.


CULTURE AND PSYCHE:

- Overall, a good place to watch cricket.

- More informal atmosphere than at Lords, but less relaxed in terms of rules - you can't take in alcohol for big matches.


- If you would like to engage in any seriously damaging or destructive behaviour but do not want to attract the attention of the stewards, all you need to do is to get a friend on the opposite side of the ground to create a diversion by starting a beer snake.

- You can't take in musical instruments. I'm not sure what the rule is if you're, for example, a professional flautist popping to some floodlit Pro40 of an evening, after having spent the day in rehearsal somewhere.

HISTORY:

- Hosted the first ever test match.

- Hosted the first game of the 1868 Aboriginal tour. I'm not saying that this shouldn't be regarded as the first test match, by the way, Ian Chappell.

- Was equipped to be a prisoner of war camp.

- Hosted the first ever football FA cup.

- Saw England win the Ashes in 2005.

ENVIRONMENT:

- Immediate surroundings consist of 1930's brick social housing blocks, many with crickety names.

- Those famous gasworks.

- Wander a couple of streets away and there's a park.

- Wander in the other direction and there are quite a few gay pubs, rejoicing in names like Hoist and Sweat.

- Nearest supermarkets are the Kennington Tesco, and the Co-op on Camberwell New Road. There's also a Tesco Express at St George's Wharf, Vauxhall.


DANGERS AND ANNOYANCES:

- Possible gas hazards, according to the council.

- No real parking. Well, on Sundays you can park on my road, less than 10 mins walk from the ground, but I'm not about to tell you where that is.

- Not much actual space around the perimeter, so can get a bit squashed on big match days.

- THE BARS CLOSE FOR 90 MINUTES AFTER THE RESUMPTION OF PLAY AFTER LUNCH. If play doesn't resume after lunch because of rain, the bars DO still open, but I have no idea how they pick the time to open.

- The cups of tea should be bigger.


SIGHTS AND ATTRACTIONS

- You might get to see Ramps (like Jrod did) / Butch wandering round

- Also, have I mentioned the Dyson Blade hand driers?

- on weekdays, the Stella airship goes over the ground two or three times.

- on Saturdays there's a farmers' market in the church garden opposite the tube.

- the "living wall" on the OCS stand is growing very nicely now.

- The moving tableau on the wall outside the pavillion entrance.


KNOW-BEFORE-YOU-GO


- There ARE cashpoints within the ground. Not free ones, though.
- Re seating: you can't see the replay screen from some parts of the Bedser stand, and you can't see it without turning / craning from the lower-numbered stands, and from the side of the OCS balcony nearest Harleyford Road.

- There's more legroom in the green seats.

- OCS balcony seats are padded.

- For big matches, you can't take in metal cans of drink.

- Even though it will seem like every single other person in the ground has a packed lunch, the queues for food will still be long, but always 3 times as long if you are not in the OCS.

- If you are meeting up with people and going in with them on a major match day, don't just say "Oval Tube". That's MADNESS. I'd suggest: "Bus stop C on Harleyford Road", or " The church opposite the Tube".
- If you want to go to a pub afterwards, the Beehive and The Hanover Arms will most probably be rammed. Other possibilities worth a try are the Black Sheep, The Roebuck (I've never been there but may try it next time), The Fentiman Arms (quickest route there is to cut through the estate) and, if you wander up to Kennington Cross, the Prince of Wales, White Hart, and Doghouse.
www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

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