KP does not write his scripts

Or his plot twists, maguffins or dialogue.

He does have a fair bit to say in his character arc, but that is where the line is drawn.

How do I know this?

Because no one would write that they go out to Paul Harris within a few runs of victory.

So Shaun Pollock, and everyone else sprouting this shocking cliché can shut the fuck up.

Phrases I will permit when discussing KP’s charmed existence:

Script Consultant

Set designer

Method Actor

Make up artist

Story developer

Jizz Mopper

England lost 4 wickets today.

Some intelligent person said they would lose 3.

Early on they played about as safe as possible, and after 11 overs they were 11 runs.

Twas very English.

But it worked, and once Cook hit out, and by hit out I mean played controlled shots along the carpet, South Africa gave up the, or any, ghost.

The crowd gave KP such adulation when he came out, that I had to check it was him, and not Johnny Cash coming back from the dead.

Forget about who writes his scripts, his Visa granter must be proud as punch.

Was the best stamp for England since Kylie went over.

Highlight of the day was when a man behind me gave Paul Harris such a verbaling, that patrons complained.

Then he stopped bagging Harris so he could bag the other patrons, and then several security guards.

Perhaps the only time Paul Harris has created real trouble at a cricket ground.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.