Yo Ricky, whats the down low bro?

Ricky Ponting is in the sort of form that would get you shot by Uday Hussein (unless he is playing against the Kiwis).

While the rest of you sit around moping about it (if you like him) or drinking champagne and praising Allah (if you don’t), I have come up with the 6 most likely reasons why he has lost form.

Theory A

Some man claiming to be Ricky Ponting has been pulling off the greatest non Cherie Blair scam in years.

We should have noticed by the fact he had more hair, but most of us assumed it was some Vain attempt by Ricky to look young.

This man, whose batting talent is questionable, seems to be about as good as a captain, and press operator as Punter was,

Theory B

If you remember the Halloween episode from the Simpsons where Homer gets Snakes hair, you may understand theory B.

Ricky has someone elses hair, and whoever it is has problems outside off stump, can’t run between wickets and is no longer worth a lot of money.

Problems outside off stump, Brad Hodge, running between wickets, Inzy, not worth a lot of money Ashwell Prince.

Theory C

According to a book I read recently, if you are abducted by aliens, they can insert themselves into your mind to find out what makes you tick.

They do not interfere with your life, but they do like to ask you why decided on orange juice instead of apple juice, why you bought a four wheel drive to drop the kids off at school and why you sodomized your neighbours dog.

Imagine batting with a team full of Aliens in your head.

Theory D

Perhaps on his last tour Rianna Ponting heard that Ricky was road testing the new weave with the ladies.

Some wives can be very narrow minded when it comes to their husbands sleeping with other girls. Even if he was just testing his hair.

If Ponting is sleeping on the couch, this could be affecting his form.

Theory E

Perhaps the ©rapness of his Vitamin ads has got to him.

I mean he is the Captain of the free world, and he’s in an ad that probably would look dodgy on Community television.

Must be a blow to his confidence, especially since he got his hair fixed just for the occasion.

Theory F

He is in sh1t form.

Doesn’t seem as likely as the others though does it.www.cricketwithballs.com "Sign our David Hussey petition"