my application

Dear Sir/Madam/IPL

My name is Uncle J Rod, and I would like to apply for a position as blogger for one of your teams, preferably a team with a good name, so the Chennai Super Kings is out.

Unlike all the other nay sayers, I think 2020 cricket is the best thing since the upskirt shot in Basic Instict, although it is still no Barbarella.

These are some of the reasons I think I could fit into the IPL.

I also don't think Ashwell Prince is very good.

Talent wise I am at least on par with Albie Morkel or Simon Katich.

I have no problem with saying that India is the greatest nation on earth, I mean I’ve lied before, I once told this girl her bum didn’t look big in this. Also I will never place my feet near the Indian Flag.

I have a work history of over 500 posts, most of which are not obscene.

I have references from England, Pakistan, New Zealand (yes they are still a cricket nation) and India. None from South Africa though.

I too hate the way Australia control world cricket, I mean look at the way they got that talented young finger chucker banned. Dharmasena I think his name was.

For the job I am willing to do player interviews, players love me, I’m assuming you have heard of Bryce McGain.

Recently I started a petition to get David Hussey into the Australian side, after only a few days I am only 900 people short of my intended target of 1000.

I understand this is an auction process, but I would prefer to work with a team owned by a Bollywood actress, however, I am willing to work for any team where the groupie ratio is 25 to 1.

But I would like to reiterate I will not work for the Chennai Super Kings, as their name is really stoopid.

I understand that a lot of money has been spent on the IPL, and you may be a little skint now, so I will make my reserve price 900,001 dollars, as I refuse to get paid less than Jacques Kallis.

In conclusion I am willing to declare all my other contracts null and void for the 6 week period where I will focus solely on making the IPL the greatest sporting event ever, except for the Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival and the WNBA.

Thank you for your time, and I hope to hear back from you shortly.

Yours truly,

Uncle J Rodwww.cricketwithballs.com "Sign our David Hussey petition"