The Perfect Boyfriend

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Women are weird, no doubt. They are harder to work out than HTML codes and what shoes are cool right now.

In my travels I have met a lot of them, mostly through rejections, and I have come to learn some things about them.

A great deal of women, which is now know as a vajority, want a man who can protect them from the elements, while being gentle in those quieter moments on the couch.

This is obviously not all women, as the woman who repeatedly asked me to choke her wasn’t so much into gentleness, but for the purpose of this post let's pretend its all women.

A female friend of mine said her experience had taught her that all women (not all, some, a vajority perhaps) want a man who can be hard on the outside and soft on the inside.

Unfortunately for me, I’m soft on the outside and hard on the inside.

But Jacob Oram is hard on the outside and soft on the inside.

Let me explain this.

He bats like John McLane would. It isn’t always pretty, there are some moments you aren’t sure he is going to make it, he ends up battered and bruised, but by the end he has slayed the bad guys and kept us entertained.

When he bowls he shows a feminine side not many men his size can project. He trundles in like some sort of Oprah bowler, which is much different than being a Jerry Springer bowler like Andre Nel or Sreesanth.

This is what makes him the perfect boyfriend.

To his mates he shows a tough guy demeanour, slogging the ball out of the park and carrying his decrepit team mates on his back through another collapse. The sort of guy who would defend a ladies honour with a bloody bar fight.

But after the bar fight, as the lady, whose honour is intact, is stitching him back up, he shows his sensitive side as the alcohol and needles cause him to flinch and open up about past loves and scars that show just a hint of melancholy below his rock hard exterior.

Then they make sweet sweet love. He is gentle and giving, but as much as she enjoys it, some deep primal urge wishes that he would just rip her clothes off and make love to her in the wild abandon that he showed in the bar.

Unfortunately for her (NZ), all his anger is reserved for bar room brawls (batting) and cannot be used in the making of love (bowling)

Ok so maybe not the perfect boyfriend then, but I bet he remembers her birthday.www.cricketwithballs.com "the only cricket blog that offers $ex with evil dragons"