Made of chalk

Young men are vibrant.

They are made of rubber and they bounce back before their injuries are fully realised.

Old men are not so lucky.

They injure themselves masturbating.

Thinking about masturbating.

Or in the nets.

3, of the 18 over 30 year olds in this Bastard Monkey Series, may not play in the test Friday.

Anil Kumble injured his shoulder wiping his forehead.

Stuart Clark hurt his elbow while putting a more realistic rinse through his hair.

Matthew Hayden wounded his elbow cooking relief packages for Roy, but he tells people it was bashing in the heads of Orphans.

That is the problem with playing men of advanced years.

They have chalk for bones, and vinegar for blood, not many people know this.

Mitchell Johnson has never injured himself putting in a labret or tongue piercing.

Ishant Sharma doesn’t hurt himself shaving his adams apple.

Because they are young you see, they could break a bone, and it would heal 8 minutes later.

Someone of Tendulkar’s age drops a packet of sugar on his toe and he never walks again.

There seems to be an obsession with youth everywhere in the world except Australia & India’s change room.

Will this lust for the elder gentleman be either side’s downfall.

Who knows, but stay tuned for the next episode of Grumpy Old Chalky Men.www.cricketwithballs.com... Aussie Haiku straight to your box