Monday, January 12, 2009

The candidates

England need a new coach.

There are already a few names out there.

So I have put them into list form, and done some valuations on them.

Mickey Arthur, for someone who is coaching the second best team in world cricket, his name sure does get mentioned a lot with other jobs.

Plusses, knows how to deal with big egos and South Africans (is that redundant), has a pretty good record as coach, and doesn’t lose captains as much as Moores did.

Minuses, what sort of person leaves the 1st/2nd best team in the world for a team that just sacked its coach and forced its captain to resign.

Darren Lehmann, has put his own name up, but has coached South Australia, academies, and about to take over the Deccan Chargers.

Plusses, people love Boof, would take much longer for the fans to turn on him, has a brilliant cricket mind and wont get caught up in clipboards.

Minuses, doesn’t have the best record with minorities, and was sacked by SA as a player for helping keep Cosgrove fat.

Shane Warne, as if.

Graham Ford, he knew KP back then, and has just managed to get Kent into a new division.

Plusses, is quiet, KP will like him, seems like a good match for Strauss, may get Key and Denly into the team.

Minuses, if England lose to Bangladesh, everyone will be checking his phone records, and Kent’s new division was division 2.

Tom Moody, is thought by some, me, to be the best cricket coach in the world.

Plusses, has international experience as a player and coach, did great work with Sri Lanka and Australia wanted him but couldn’t get him.

Minuses, Massive Christian head, wants to be paid a kabilion dollars, and West Australia are a rabble this year.

Greg Chappell, surely has been added only for comedic value.

Plusses, THERE ARE NO PLUSSES; actually he may be able to get those Greg Chappell hats cheaper.

Minuses, Couldn’t coach South Australia, Couldn’t’ coach India, and since he has been around the Australian team they have gotten shit.

Jrod, is a less publicised applicant, but wants the job, and has a few revolutionary tactics up his sleeve that would be wasted in club cricket.

Plusses, free press exposure, support of international blogging community, is Australian, and is getting to understand the Tube.

Minuses, lazy, angry, may pick Eyelids Pattinson regularly, will pick Rob Key just so they can eat pies together, would demand payment in Natalie Portman’s used Underwear.

The choice is obvious.


cricketwithballs

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