Who is Tim Southee?

Is he a man with forefathers who liked vowels?

Is he the Richard Hadlee who is not a ©unt we have all been waiting for?

Is he ready to break down a lot and leave for India like only a true New Zealander can?

Or is he the Danny Morrison clone we have all been hoping never comes back?

I don’t know, and until he takes wickets, I probably don’t care.

But young bowlers are exciting, even the New Zealander ones.

He was recently named the best under 19 cricketer in the world, or thereabouts.

His credentials involve one 2020 game, and yet because he is not a drunken fat slogger we have heard only so much about him.

Perhaps he if slices his hand open in a bar, gets caught with weed, or gives a press conference about his sexuality we will care about him.

New Zealanders never really get a lot press.

Shane Bond was a demon from hell, and yet, his defection got more headlines than the 21 times he tore Australia's heart out and ate it.

If Brendan McCullum were English they would dedicate monuments to him, knight him, find him a pop star girlfriend and ruin him in the space of 2 months.

What about the Perfect boyfriend Jacob Oram, a man so grand if he were Sri Lankan he would be given Colombo.

Ofcourse if Lou Vincent were Australian, we would disown him and send him to some lesser country and let him play for them.

New Zealand is still a test playing nation, the england found that out the hard way.

That was just after South Africa all but proved they weren’t one.

But they are still the number 3 ranked one day side in the world, and I’m sure if you search long and hard enough someone will care about that fact.

They aren't even as rubbish as I, and everyone else in the cricket world is saying.

But that doesn't mean that anyone gives a sh1t about Tim Southee.

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