Saturday, March 22, 2008

the oxymoron slaughters gently

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons or, more rarely, oxymora) is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a loanword from Greek oxy ("sharp") and moros ("dull"). Thus the word oxymoron is itself an oxymoron.

Interesting stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Over at Sportsfreak, they call Ryan Sidebottom the Oxymoron.

Because of the logistical improbability of having a bottom on your side.

There are offcourse flaws to this argument.

For one it could be someone elses ass you have on your side.

Secondly I’m sure there is some poor soul whom should have been smothered at birth who has said bottom on the side.

But I have discovered that there are many factors that makes Ryan Sidebottom an Oxy Moron.

Fact one. All English bowlers are either mentally or physically prone to break downs, or are male models.

Ergo an English bowler who isn’t a basket case or male model is an oxy moron.

Fact two. Sidebottom regularly takes wickets whilst being an English fast bowler.

Ergo an English bowler taking wickets is an oxy mormon.

Fact three. Sidebottom looks like the drummer in a Led Zeppelin tribute band.

Ergo anyone who looks like a drummer for a Led Zeppelin tribute band is a moron.

Fact four. His nickname in the dressing room is sexual chocolate.

Ergo a white Yorkshire boy being called a sexual chocolate is an oxy moron, and quite odd.

Case closed.

And he got 7 wickets today.

True story.www.cricketwithballs.com "Sign our David Hussey petition"

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