South Africa's scared little boys

Mr Panic, a regular commenter here, not a jazz musician from the 60’s, alerted me a few days ago to an article in the times about Neil McKenzie.

I can’t find it now, but it talked about McKenzie’s OCD before and during his innings.

They include, but are not limited to, taping his bat to the change room ceiling, making sure the toilet seats are down when he goes out to bat and not stepping on the white lines out on the ground.

Coughfuckenweirdocough

If I was a coach and I had a player with those problems, I wouldn’t council him, mollycoddle him or get him assistance.

I’d take him out the back and shoot him.

Not killing him, just a flesh wound to the thigh.

But this does not matter.

The point is, that South Africa do not have mentally tough batsman.

They appear tough.

But scratch the surface and they are all nervous wrecks.

Cullinan, kept talking the talk even though Warne had shown him to be a cup cake.

Gibbs, who can be easily convinced to cheat, and then forget about it 8 minutes later.

Smith, Who acts like Matt Hayden on the field, and off it as the poor nerdy kid who can’t find a woman.

Kallis, like I have to explain.

Cronje, the devil made me do it, what the devil made you be a whiny little Jesus freak?

Amla, just kill Smith and take over the side already.

Prince, the dude wears mittens.

Dippenaar, Rudolph, and Bacher are hardly worth mentioning.

So why do they win matches?

They quite regularly have the men who can take 20 wickets.

Ntini, as if you'd wanna be in a back alley with him.

Nel, as if you'd wanna be in a mental ward with him.

Steyn, as if you'd wanna be in a men's day spa with him.

These are real men. Fast bowling men's men.

Not mitten wearing Jesus freaks who tape bat's to the ceiling of things.

Well i hope not, as it would ruin the point of this article.

Bowlers win matches.

Batsman sign bat sponsors.

Wicket keepers get the girls.

True story.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.