12th man's application

The flying Jandal ticket is rolling now.

Here is the 12th man's application, count it.

<p style="text-align: center;" align="center">[b]TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN[/b]



I, hereby, list below the reasons that support my candidature for coaching the BLACK CAPS. I also go one step further in suggesting the revolutionary measures I will be adopting when I’m given the opportunity.



[b]WHY ME?[/b]


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">1) India and China are the next big things in the world economy. So, an Indian, who writes cricket blogs under the title ‘Chinese Cut’, should be the obvious choice for coaching the BLACKCAPS to take on the likes of Australia and South Africa for the Number One spot in Cricket.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">2) The Aussies succeeded under John Buchanan, who doesn’t have a great cricketing record to boast of. That supports my point. An Engineering degree from a top Indian grad school supplemented with experience in the Strategy Consulting industry makes me the ideal choice for coach. After all, the coach must be a great tactician and strategist.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">3) I have led my school team of amateur cricketers to successful ‘third round exits’ in the inter-school competitions. If that is possible, I can do better with a bunch of semi-talented cricketers.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">4) A Kiwi coach in John Wright transformed India into a world-beating unit when they were reeling on the brinks of mediocrity and we, as a nation, are greatly indebted to him. It is high time that we returned the favour by contributing to the transformation of an ailing NZ national side into a world beating unit.



[b]WHAT I PROPOSE? [/b]


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">1) As a firm believer in numbers (owing to a background in Math/Engineering), I will let numbers do the talking. Under my dictatorial regime, the under achievers, who are responsible for the predicament NZ cricket is in, will be guillotined (or decimated, according to JRod) and batsmen with a good domestic record (in terms of numbers) will be roped into the national side for better results. I will use the services of David Barry and employ him as a full-time data analyst.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">2) I will allow all Kiwi players to play in the lucrative Indian Premier League to learn the nuances of T20 cricket, which is unarguably going to be the future of cricket. In the process, I will produce a dozen McCullums who will be ready to take the fight to any opposition in any form of the game in any situation.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">3) I will welcome the rebels that defected to play in the ICL back into the Kiwi national side with open arms. By doing so, I will get back the services of Shane Bond, my champion fast bowler and Daryl Tuffey (who in any case is better than their current crop of fast bowlers).


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">4) I will rope in Bishen Bedi and Anil Kumble as support staff and help produce champion spinners and strengthen their spin bowling department in the process.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">5) I will teach them a list of swear words that rhyme with Monkey or Maa-Ki, which could be safely used for sledging without breaching the ICC Code of conduct.


<p style="text-indent: -18pt;">6) I would prepare ready-made effigies of the players in the squad and hire a bunch of people to burn them when they don’t perform to the set expectations. By doing so, I will plant the seed of fear in them that will urge them to achieve higher targets.

Yours Sincerely,

12th Man
Anyone else wanna show the balls that they too can coach New Zealand? mail me @ cwb@cricketwithballs.com.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.