<p align="justify">The Jrod is, as we speak, in midair making his way over to this green and pleasant land.
While he is over here I expect he will go to watch some live cricket.
Balls fans, what does he need to know? I start you off with some suggestions.
1. However hot the day might seem, always, always take a jumper and an umbrella.
2. However cold the day might seem, always, always take a hat, sunglasses and suncream.
3. You are still allowed to take alcohol into Lords, and you can maximise the units of alcohol by taking wine not beer.
4. There is no cashpoint near the Oval, and there isn't really anywhere to get picnic food either, unless it's a Saturday in which case the farmers' market is open.
5. Don't go to the first beer stall, go to the second.
6. The Oval scoreboard will make you cry with frustration.
7. You will get frisked with a metal detector on the way in to big matches. Therefore, it's probably best to leave the remote control sex toy at home.
8. A counselling course is required before you undergo the trauma of paying for a pint of Pimms.
9. At test matches, you will be tempted to change energy supplier by attractive blonde sirens. Resist.
10. Whatever they might say on the tannoy at Lord's, St John's Wood tube is not too busy for going home.
11. Never rely on being able to watch cricket in any particular pub. It will most probably be bumped if anything - anything - else is on.
12. The beer sold at the grounds is shocking.
13. If you are repeatedly buying multiple pints, hang on to the cardboard carrying thing because they sometimes run out of them by the end of the day.
14. Tickets for county games are very expensive compared with Australian State games.
Any more?
www.cricketwithballs.com
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