India V Australia, Is she really going out with him: Teams

Most selection decisions for this series have already been made.

So lets look at the balls and ass of these teams.

India

Balls

Sehwag, more than a man, and he loves playing Australia, recently he has put the Indian line up on his back and carried them, like all good prophets do. We love thee his murderousness of Sehwagology.

MS Dhoni, ok all his form is in one day cricket, probably because he pulls out of test matches, he is still in good form, but he was made to look like a club cricketer in Australia.

Gotham City Gambhir, this boy can bat. Never been tried against Australia in test cricket, so it all could go horribly wrong. Should be great to watch him go toe to woe with Clark and Lee, Will really test him.

Harbhjan Singh, is ET away from the subbie, is Predator at home. Might have to be, because wickets haven’t been India’s specialty, himself aside, since Perth.

Ass

Rahul Dravid, I read this hilarious article about sports betting , “For India, Dravid is the man they often rely upon for runs and this will be no different in this series.” When was this written, 2003?, Dravid is still looking lucky to be there, and everyone has there Rahul Dravid retirement columns all ready to go.

Anil Kumble, Is currently playing under the Mark Taylor/Mike Brearly rule, because it sure as shit aint for the wickets he hasn’t taken for a while. Ms Dhoni and Gary Kirsten are sharpening their pick axes.

Ishant Sharma, he of the swollen neck, has found life pretty tough since he played so well against Australia. Will be lucky to get a game really, RP Sing bowls well against Australia, and Khan is tougher. .

Sourav Ganguly, Clearly he has been picked for his form in the Irani trophy, nope didn't play in that, perhaps it was his stellar figures of 96 runs @ 16 against Sri Lanka., nope maybe he was picked in the squad for his generous nature and friendly disposition.

Australia

Balls

Matthew Hayden, made his name in India abostuley positively smoting the Indians everywhere. Wasn’t as good last time, but is now one of the big three, so he has to perform, and he seems to have a particular dislike for the Indians.

Brett Lee, the best quick in the world at the moment, long quick spells of brutal intensity. Will be tested against India in India, but regularly made the Indians look average in Australia, and anything Dale Syten can do….

Stuart Clark, this man is going to bowl some long, long, long spells. Bowls the most mechanical of any bowler in world cricket, and will love bowling to Sehwag. Hopefully he dyes his hair a more respectable colour.

Michael Clarke, sure I bag him, but when his head isn’t up his own ass he is Australia’s best player of spin. Should bat at 4 on this tour, wont though. If he did bat at 4, he might not notice the side is in trouble when he goes in, which means he might make runs. Imagine that.

Ass

Ricky Ponting, needs to work out Bhaji and Adams Apple, needs to make runs, Australia can win without him, but without him it is the hard way.

Bryce McGain, first time spinner in India, whether he is the best spinner in Australia or not, it’s like throwing raw virgins into lock down. We will find out if he is a man or a boy soon enough.

Jason Krezja, the man who never deserves a birthday or christmas present ever again, suddenly has the number one spinning spot. His shield figures make Ganguly's recent record look spectacular. All i can say is good luck, and i hope you believe in yourself champ.

Michael Hussey, you can’t hide behind that average forever Michael. We all see it sliding, and this tour is going to test it. Not a great player of spin, guess who is though, his brother. If Mike really makes runs this series I might rate him, I doubt it though.

Shane Watson, ok Shane lets start afresh, forget about the IPL, and all the nasty things I said about you, you aint in Kansas anymore. Use your feet, back your ability, and for fucks sake don’t bat like terry test match.www.cricketwithballs.com... Aussie Haiku straight to your box