Top 5 reasons why England won the 2005 ashes

In light of Marcus Trescothick selling his new book, look they came on me, I took the piss out of England's 2005 Ashes win.

Here I do that much less.

The top 5 reasons why England won.

5. Mints/Reverse Swing

The ball reverse swinged like a mother fucker from hell.

Blame the murray mints.

Blame the duke balls.

Blame Freddy and Jones.

But England has never been able to replicate that level of swing (especially early in the innings) since.

4. Any Australian bowler who wasn’t Warne or McGrath

Warne and McGrath played brilliantly, but what about the rest.

Lee tried his Ass off, but didn’t take many wickets, and averaged of 40.

Dizzy went one series too far, should never have been picked for the tour, let alone a test.

Kasprowicz didn’t look like taking a wicket.

And Ponting had no idea how to use Shaun Tait.

3. Australia’s batsmen didn’t fire

They couldn’t handle conventional swing.

They couldn’t handle reverse swing.

Katich was there, in his pre Jesus days.

Martyn kept getting out bat before wicket.

Hayden couldn’t work out short mid off.

And Gilly wasn’t Gilly.

Wickets may win you test matches, but when your bowling line up is down, and your batting is at full strength, the batsmen were the ones who really let Australia down.

Don’t forget Mike Hussey and Brad Hodge, both English experts, were waiting in the wings.

2. Glenn McGrath’s ankle

Even after all the bullshit in the lead up, Australia won the first test, easily.

McGrath took a swag of wickets.

England looked overawed, as usual.

Then McGrath stands on a cricket ball.

Ponting has a brain fade at the toss, and England win the second test.

McGrath played in 3 tests Australia were 1-0 in those.

In the two tests he didn’t play England were 2-0.

1. England played well.

Tis true.

They weren’t the better team, but they did play better for the whole series.

Australia were carried by Shane Warne, by bat and ball.

England weren’t carried by anyone, everyone chipped in.

Even shit cunts like Geraint Jones and Ashley Giles.

They had luck, but underdogs usually do when they win.

Their two wins were by the skin of their nipples.

But they almost won the 3rd test as well.

And were only really beaten in the first and last tests.

You cannot win a test series by luck, mints, and injuries if you play like rubbish.www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig