decoding the wing commander

England has called in the Wing Commander to fly their little areoplane.

He said “Um look” and then I stopped listening.

But luckily I was given the transcript of what he said, and meant.

"It is a great honour to be named as England captain and I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead”

The wrongs of the world have been righted, I shall do my job for queen and country and shall enjoy my knighthood.

"I've spoken to Kevin a couple of times already. I know him well, he's a good mate. He said he will support me and I believe he will."

Kevin knows his place, beneath me, that’s a good boy.

“I know Kevin extremely well and appreciate he may be bruised at the moment but he will bounce back and will be one of the most important figures going forward”

I shall give in my island as thanks, that shall raise his spirits and mean he continues to do all the work.

"I'm very excited about doing the job. Clearly the circumstances are less than ideal in some ways. There's a lot of hard work to do in the future.”

I am very excited that you are all talking to me, I was telling Giles the other day, it is about time I was respected in this manner, then I demanded he take an eighth of an ounce of my new bat, it felt rather uneven.

"It hasn't been an ideal situation. I don't think anyone really has come out of it particularly well. It's happened. We need to move on.”

It wasn’t ideal under Kevin, now it feels, right, and proper.

"We need to think what it is we have to do to start winning Test matches consistently. That's my job as captain."

I shall win test matches, chase foxes and looking spiffy doing so.

cricketwithballs

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