Kym's Application

The race for New Zealand's top job is heating up, but the black caps are taking it one application at a time. So can you, sportsfreak, me, sportsreview, miriam, miss field, and smitty.

Now we have one from Kym, who is eager to put her name on the flying jandal ticket.

Dear BLACKCAPS,

I was very excited to see that the position of BLACKCAPS coach is becoming available, and I would like to put myself forward for consideration. Although my experience in coaching cricket at the elite level could not be called extensive, I believe I have other skills that make me suitable for the position. And anyway, if we’re honest, I think we all know you’re going to have to lower your sights a bit.

Although I am Australian, my step-father is a New Zealander, and he’s a good bloke. Also, I like Flight of the Conchords, so as you can see I do have a connection with you people. As it stands, the BLACKCAPS are already my third favourite team (just behind Sri Lanka, way behind Australia). This is ideal because, while I like to see the BLACKCAPS win, I’m able to take a dispassionate and analytical view when they don’t, which will be handy when talking to the media and when offering constructive criticism to the players.

It’s very encouraging, and not at all fanciful, to see your aim to be ranked 1 or 2 in the world in all forms of the game. I believe the BLACKCAPS’ international performances can be improved immediately by simple steps such as hiring Troy Cooley and never picking the Marshall twins again. You see how easy it is â€" all you need is vision.

I also have some ideas about how to strengthen NZ’s domestic competition. For example, I would raise the standard immediately by sending South Australia’s REDBACKS across for a season to expose NZ’s players to the next level of cricketing competence. The following year you can swap the REDBACKS for another team, maybe Tasmania’s TIGERS. Or else you can keep the REDBACKS; I don’t feel too strongly one way or the other about that.

Obviously I don’t want to give away too many ideas all at once, but there’s plenty more where that came from.

In summary, I’m prepared to take on the job providing I don’t have to actually live in New Zealand or watch the BLACKCAPS play when there’s a more interesting game going on elsewhere.

Regards,

Kym (name withheld)

You still have till the 4th of August to get your applications in, do you want to join the flying jandal ticket? cwb@cricketwithballs.com. www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.