Eyelids is in

Fuck me with a soldering iron.

How can this be.

Already the comments are coming through.

“He’s playing”Chris

“I can’t believe Eyelids is playing a fucking test”Miriam

“You’re kidding, he isn’t going to be playing for Victoria any more”PK

They are all talking about DARREN "EYELIDS" PATTINSON, Victoria's newest English test cricketer.

A very reliable source told me that he is playing for the right county, which is hilarious, because over here he played for the wrong state.

But who cares, a Victorian is playing test cricket.

Dandenong is on the map (although, that probably isn’t a good thing).

Things to watch out for.

His eyelids, the flappers, as he comes in to the crease.

His heavy balls, Geoff Millers words not mine.

Decent pace, with a touch of movement.

Eyelids is a manly outdoorsy sort of chap, as most roofers tend to be, but they tell me, a heart of gold.

And he is playing for England.

This is the most exciting thing to happen to mankind since Lyle Lovett hooked Julia.

Six months ago he couldn’t get a game for Victoria.

Now with 11 first class games, mostly in county cricket, is in the team ahead of.

Chris Tremlett
Simon Jones
Matthew Hoggard
Steve Harmison
Sajid Mahmood

Fuck me.

Geoff Miller loves Eyelid’s heavy balls.www.cricketwithballs.com

Now with new proper english lady blogger.