don't kill charl

Charl Langeveldt has opted out of the tour to India.

Because “the controversy over the selection of the squad so upset him he feels he won't be in the right frame of mind for the matches.”

Don’t give us that nonsense Charl, big Andre got to you.

It’s obviously partly my fault.

I did call for him to kill you, but at the time I thought it was justified, and plus it was in my podcast so that doesn't count.

I may have got that call wrong.

It’s just that you really bore us Charl, and I thought if Andre killed you he might get reinstated.

You can see the logic in htat, surely.

Your death, for the greater good of the cricket watching public.

Now you have quit the tour, and presumably gone into hiding on the same island as Hansie Cronje.

I do apologise, almost sincerely, but now I will do even better, I will retract the cricket fatwa I imposed on you.

Andre, for fu©k sakes don’t kill the man.

I have bigger plans for you anyway, your cricket career is obviously over, so why not look into a bit of administracrat restructuring.

You know the people who are calling for this quota, so find them and destroy them.

Use your evil powers for good Andre.

Then when you are finished with the quota loving administracrats, you and I will take over the world.

Like we have always planned.

Now be gone Andre, your master needs his rest.www.cricketwithballs.com "Sign our David Hussey petition"