the england don't use hand cuffs

Apparently there was cricket being played today that Victoria was not part of.

Some of this cricket was played in New Zealand where England played out a benign day to force home their advantage.

The game was not deemed important enough to be shown live in Australia.

We did get a replay here, and even in a condensed version, this looked very dry.

Cook and Strauss grinded, the wing commander for his career, Cook, because he grinds.

Vaughn kept playing balls later and later, until he snicked one.

KP got run out, which is always funny.

But even funnier when its a ricochet off a fast bowlers hand.

Bell looked ok in the middle.

Collingwood batted with the tail.

But guess what, there was a lot of foreplay. Not exciting or fulfilling foreplay with hand cuffs, dogg colours or remote control vibrators, but just straight kissing and fondling for a long time until they fall asleep and your unsatisfied.

They may win this test, they would want to from here, but the level of exhilarating cricket from England seems disarmingly low at the moment.

No one, not even KP, seems to be able to score at any sort of rate at the moment.

They batted all day for a total of 277, which puts them sh1t loads in front, but what about really smashing your opponents, what about demoralising the kiwis, so they cant see how they can win the next match.

They came into the day 150 runs up with 10 wickets to spare, and they bat like men trying to force a draw, I’m all for grinding a side into the ground, but they lost 9 wickets on a pretty good pitch.

So not even batting line grandma’s helped them.

I think England deserve to lose based on the fact that they bore me.

Since I have prescribed peyote to Harmison, I think I should help out the English batsmen as well.

For them I suggest absinthe before each innings, as its very hard to cut off your ears wearing a helmet.www.cricketwithballs.com "Sign our David Hussey petition"