Match report from the Stolberg beer café

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<p class="MsoNormal">The game was only put on when two very angry men demanded that the cricket be shown, no I wasn’t one of them.
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<p class="MsoNormal">For some reason Australian’s had to wait 3 and half hours on a delay to watch the Kiwis and the Poms.
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<p class="MsoNormal">But it looked live, so we watched it anyway.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Early on there was a bit of honky tonk in the pitch.
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<p class="MsoNormal">From what I could see Tim Ambrose missed all those lessons about soft hands.
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<p class="MsoNormal">My mate Doyle tried to convince me that test cricket has no depth, and I tried to convince him that England pick their players based on how many women wanna shag em.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Jamie How seemed to go out, not sure I saw it, a 50 year old woman fell off a bar stool at the same time. Her husband took her home, then he came back and continued drinking.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Ross Taylor went out as well, didn’t see that either, girl in a short black dress.
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<p class="MsoNormal">We had a brief “how good is Prince Brendan” chat before we realised he was 20 off 200 balls.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then we discussed, vivaciously, who the ugliest cricketer of all time was.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Scott Styris was batting well.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then a brawl started, in the same bar my dad told me was the best bar in the northern suburbs. At that stage we were glad we didn’t go to the worst.
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<p class="MsoNormal">It was between a larger man (6’2 115 kilos and a tigers fan) and a skinny little runt.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Conveniently they went out side and fought right in front of our window.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The little runt got in a few quick blows, before the big fellow landed three huge hits to his head.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then the big guy fell over and the little bloke kicked him in the head repeatedly before the big guy got up ripped off the little guys t shirt.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The fight ended just as both of them stumbled onto Bell St.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The big guy looked a little ruffled.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The little guy was bleeding from the temple and had to shirt.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The big guy was let back in the bar, the two security guards liked old and small and probably thought he could take them down.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The little guy wasn’t allowed in and seemed to stay around for a little while pointing at the big guy through the window, and Doyle stared at him enough that he then threatened Doyle.
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<p class="MsoNormal">At one stage Doyle suggested we go speak to two girls who were with the group because the guys were too busy with other things. I said he should, and I’d jump in if a guy glassed him.
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<p class="MsoNormal">While that fight died down I did a re-enactment of Daniel Flynn losing a tooth.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The bar was due to close in an hour so we moved onto bourbons.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Then one of the little guy’s friends decided to start the big fella again, this time in the bar and they started to fight.
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<p class="MsoNormal">At this time I really needed a piss but how do you say, hey angry mob, please move so I can go to the loo.
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<p class="MsoNormal">So I waited.
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<p class="MsoNormal">This fight was shorter and was more pushy, although little guy’s friend got in one or two jumper punches.
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<p class="MsoNormal">What I really liked was even thought there was a fight in the bar, and one out the front of the bar, the group was never asked to leave, even the big fella who was in both fights.
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<p class="MsoNormal">We decided after the second fight to find another pub.
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<p class="MsoNormal">We ended up at the Olympic, a pokies joint where no one was fighting.
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<p class="MsoNormal">We sat in the middle of the room as elderly people emptied their life savings and we talked about the Kelly gang machine.
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<p class="MsoNormal">The barman was a nice chap and he suggested that if we wanted to keep drinking Doyle shouldn’t come to the bar.
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<p class="MsoNormal">I turned around to see Doyle trying to make the keno box dance.
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<p class="MsoNormal">We got warned a few times for being loud and at about 330 Doyle started to pass out.
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<p class="MsoNormal">He fell asleep in the taxi, and since he was going to the country I think there was a chance that the taxi driver may have just dumped him on the side of the road and taken his wallet.
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<p class="MsoNormal">Fair enough really.
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<p class="MsoNormal">And New Zealand won.

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