Stop moaning, start drinking

I've picked up the very slight impression (here, here, here, but NOT here) that a few of you might be the teensiest bit bored of the IPL.

Some might say that a man who is bored of the IPL is bored of life. There's only one sleep [ONE SLEEP PEOPLE!] before a Test starts, so you don't have to wait much longer for the excitement of watching two tailenders scratch out a draw on a wearing fifth day pitch, instead of all these fast-paced colourful fireworks.
Here at cricketwithballs, though, instead of constantly moaning about how bored we are, we make our own entertainment (just like during the war), and there is one sure-fire way to liven up any boring event.
[b]ALCOHOL! [/b]

[b][/b]So, here are some IPL drinking games to get you through. Don't say we never think of you.
[b]1. Drink 1 finger for:[/b] Everytime SRK dances.Every six scored.Every time DLF is mentioned. Every time Pommie Mbwanga says "Jackers".Every occurrence of any of the following phrases: "it's gone the distance", "it's the maximum", "that's out of the park".<p align="justify">For the avoidance of doubt, if all of the above happen in relation to the same shot, that's a finger for each thing.
<p align="justify">[b]2. Drink 2 fingers for the following sightings: [/b]
A player wears a shirt that is manifestly not his, and the cruder the attempt at covering the original owner's name and number, the better. A dugout interview is held in a non-English speaking player's native language, with an English interviewer, but not translated.A commentator interviews a player and confuses which side he is on.Sachin Tendulkar. <p align="justify">[b]3. Down whatever's in your glass when: [/b]
A wicket falls.There is any mention of the orange cap.<p align="justify">[b]4. Everyone in the room must drink a flaming sambuca in the event of: [/b]
A hat-trick.A game won by a last-ball six. <p align="justify">[b]5. A special celebratory bottle of champagne is to be kept on ice and broken out if any of the following happen: [/b]
Misbah finds yet another innovative way of getting out.Microphones pick up evidence of long-held festering grudges ("justice will get you one day Sourav").Anyone adopts the mock slap as their wicket celebration.<p align="justify">
If you're still bored after all that, we may have to resort to Strip IPL.
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