Scoreboard racism

The last day of the match, where Notts were supposed to win the county championship but instead folded like an origami penguin, was pretty predictable.

My man Dawson, smoked a hundred, Notts top order fell apart, and Sumit (Samit) Patel made runs again.

Then the spinners came on, and Samit tried to hit dawson back over the weird medieval style stand, instead he hit it straight up in the air, and Mascarenhas, who was at mid on, ran back to his right, then to his left, then to his right, then to his left again before taking a great catch just inside the boundary.

He then did a 50 yard dash around the boundary to celebrate.

Everyone was impressed, and in the box the talk turned to how far he had run, some said 30, some said 35, and some said 40.

I said 45, if you counted the right, left, right, left action as well.

And everyone laughed, quite rightly.

Then one reporter asked, rather innocently, if it was Dimi who had taken the catch, 80% were sure it was, but the other 20% were sure it wasn't and they had the scoreboard on their side.

It said Carberry.

Now what one characteristic do Carberry and Dimi share, darker skin pigmentation.

The 20% believed that it was definitely Carberry, and he was using the long sleeves.

I, the most vocal of the 80%, believed it was Dimi, as his number was visible for all 45 yards, and had been fielding at mid on for the whole time including the following overs.

My logic was sound, why would he move himself away from that position after taking that catch, and swap positions with the only other coloured man on the field?

The 20% trusting his instincts, and the scoreboard, called the scorers directly, who in no uncertain terms told him that it was without a shadow of a doubt 100% Carberry.

I quietened up at this point, i was sure it was Dimi, Carberry is a natural athete and moves like one, Dimi is a natural cricketer, and moves like shit, but, the scorers were probably taking more notice than i was, in general i was only watching when my other man Imran Tahir was bowling.

Then the Hampshire reporter called Hampshire directly, apparently they have a bat phone for such an emergency, and guess what, it was fucking Dimi.

I knew it.

There was a waddle to that run that only a cricketer would have.

So i'm not saying the scoreboard attendants are racist, maybe colour blind?www.cricketwithballs.com... Aussie Haiku straight to your box