hard to find a good man

New Zealand Cricket is currently courting several men.

None of them are John Bracewell, and New Zealand Cricket seemed to really like John Bracewell.

No one is sure why, all of the NZC's friends thought John Bracewell was an ass.

An actual ass.

But New Zealand Cricket was smitten.

So when Bracewell decided to see other people, NZC had to start dating again.

It wanted someone arrogant, full of themselves, and well thought of.

So they pretty much went to Australia and South Africa.

South Africa threw up shady individuals, and even though NZC liked the mystery, when Ford asked them to hold a brown paper bag, but told them “for fucks sake don’t look in the bag”, they decided he could be a bit too mysterious.

Then they looked back at Australia, Vettori told them he had found the perfect guy for them whilst back packing in India.

He was stoic, determined, intelligent, and used to coaching a team of all rounders with no real top order.

Unfortunately Ship decided to stay with Victoria, as there players are far less likely to become kolpaks or play in the ICL.

Then Brendan chipped in, he met a bloke while he was at a Rave in Goa. The guy was quiet, but he knew how to deal with talent.

Also he was really quiet, and he let Brendan talk and talk.

Problem was he was already dealing with an international side in New South Wales, and the drop off in talent could be an issue for him.

Frustrated with all these false starts, and unfulfilled desires, someone at NZC suggested stealing someone elses man.

So NZC looked around world cricket for someone who could coach, that narrowed it down, and someone who was disillusioned with his team.

This lead them to another South African, sure he was taken, but he didn’t seem that happy with his current team, and it’s not like he has to come over straight away, NZC is still having some goodbye sessions with Braces.

But all this flirting, courting, and waiting is pointless anyway.

Just fling a dart at a board and pick your next loser.

Time get on with your life, with your taste in men, the longer you take, the worse you’ll end up.

Mr Right doesn’t exist.www.cricketwithballs.com... Aussie Haiku straight to your box