why i will support the tongue

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I don’t like Brad Hogg.

Not really sure why that is, but the dude just rubs me up the wrong way.

Might be the tongue, his general earnest demeanor, or maybe it’s left arm wrist spinners, but regardless, I cant stand him.

As a one day bowler, he has performed well, his wrong un is obviously harder to pick than Michael Jackson’s nose and he bats and fields at an adequate level.

He even has a good nick name, Sheep Dog.

Yet still he does nothing for me.

This has given me a conundrum, because the thought of 4 pace bowlers at the G scares me and with no other spin options in the squad he is the logical illogical choice.

But how, after everything I stand for, can I really support Hogg if he gets selected.

Because I am Australian.

Regardless of any prejudices I have against him, if he plays and he performs really badly, Australia might lose, and that is not acceptable.

As much as everything about the man sh1ts me to tears, I cannot accept a defeat.

I won’t cheer for him, but I won’t boo him either, however tempted I may become.

It’s hypocritical, but we Australians don’t mind being hypocritical.

Arjuna stretched the rules, and his uniform, when he regularly called for a runner because his belly got in the way of his legs.

Douglas Jardine decided the only way to beat Bradman was by inventing Bodyline.

Greg Chappell instructed his brother to bowl underarm.

Guess which two are thought of as cheating pr1cks in Australia.

The perfect boxing day test for me is Hogg getting smashed and Australia to win, plus a ton from Laxman and a cute brunette giving me her number.www.cricketwithballs.com "the hooking & pulling specialists"