Monday, September 1, 2008

Championship Review - Week 17

[b]Most teams have three games left and eight teams could still win the Championship, while in Division 2, Worcestershire have a very good week off.[/b]
[b]
Division 1[/b]
Ahh, the great British summer. Evocative of such wonderful resorts including the home of the British seaside holiday. Unfortunately, this great British summer has been a bit damp, and the [b]Surrey [/b]and [b]Lancashire [/b]players could only manage four days on the beach as the Blackpool pitch wasn’t fit for cricket. Surrey now look doomed while Lancs are being drawn into the relegation dogfight.

On the other side of the Pennines, [b]Yorkshire [/b]were also by the seaside entertaining [b]Kent [/b]at Scarborough. Unusually for Scarborough, the pitch had something in it for the seamers early on and Kent were reduced to 227 all out despite a ton from Martin van Jaarsveld. Yorks then lost two early wickets before the pitch began to flatten out and 146 from Jacques Rudolph with support from Antony McGrath and Adam Lyth took Yorks to 457 and a big lead. Kent did much better second time round, with a ton from Neil Dexter, supported by Joe Denly and van Jaarsveld and some late order hitting from James Tredwell took Kent to 433 leaving Yorks needing 205 in 51 overs. In a remarkable turnaround, Yorks struggled with only Lyth able to get above 50 and were indebted to the bowlers seeing out the last fifteen overs to salvage a draw. Yorks stay in the relegation zone, albeit just 12 points behind Kent in 3rd.

There was another remarkable finish at Basingstoke, where [b]Hampshire [/b]played host to [b]Durham[/b]. Durham batted first and Will Smith made 70 out of a total of just 156, with Dimitri Mascarenhas taking five wickets. Mark Davies went three wickets better with 8 for 24 as Hants made just 96 in reply, Mascarenhas top scoring with 26. James Tomlinson then got in among the wickets taking five as Durham made 179 second time round leaving Hants needing an unlikely 240 for victory. At 77 for 5, victory was a long way off, but an unbeaten 94 from Sean Ervine took Hants to a victory that took them to just a point behind Durham in 5th. Durham would have gone top had they won.

A more mundane affair at Hove, as [b]Sussex [/b]made 339 in their first innings before [b]Nottinghamshire [/b]replied with 558 for 7, with centuries for Bilal Shafyat and Mark Wagh and 98 for Matt Wood. An unbeaten Murray Goodwin century and 93 for Mike Yardy led to Sussex to safety at 243 for 3 and a draw, which featured Chris Read bowling a couple of overs. That was enough to send Notts to the top of the table, while Sussex are 6th, five points above Yorkshire in 8th, who they still have to play twice.

So with the end of the season approaching, just 21 points separate the top eight teams in the Division. My predictions? At the bottom Surrey have too much to do and Lancashire look like a team in freefall. At the top, I genuinely don’t have a clue.

[b]Division 2[/b]
With Worcestershire having the week off, [b]Warwickshire [/b]had a chance to make up ground on their neighbours at the top. With Jonathan Trott scoring 181, the Bears declared on 476 for 9 against [b]Derbyshire[/b]. Chris Rogers led the Derby from the from with an unbeaten 248 as Derby made 474, Ian Salisbury taking 5-fer. Warwicks then made 241 for 3 in their second innings, with Darren Maddy getting a ton and the game finished in a draw. Warwicks stay 2nd while Derby are now too far behind to maintain their promotion challenge.

Third placed [b]Northamptonshire [/b]also had the chance to close the gap against struggling [b]Glamorgan[/b], the Welshmen making 287 with Johan van der Wath taking 5-fer. A century from Niall O’Brien and an unbeaten 202 from Lance Klusener (in a stand of 211) took Northants to 488 for 7. Glamorgan then made 238 in their second innings, with Monty Panesar taking four wickets, to leave Nothants requiring 38 to win with just 5 overs left in the game. Alex Wharf took three wickets to keep the chase in check and Northants finished ten runs short, which could be critical come the end of the season.

[b]Essex [/b]still entertain hopes of promotion and they did their chances no harm against [b]Leicestershire[/b]. In their first innings only HD Ackerman with 55 got into double figures as the Foxes made just 107, Darren Masters taking 5-fer. James Foster then hit his second century in two weeks with an unbeaten 132 as Essex made 335, despite five wickets for Claude Henderson. Chris Wright then took six wickets as Leicester capitulated to 154 and Essex won by an innings to just about stay in touch in 4th.

[b]England Player Watch[/b]
[b]Michael Vaughan[/b] returned to action and made just ten runs in his two innings. [b]Rob Key [/b]didn’t do a lot better with 19 while [b]Joe Denly [/b]hit two 50s. [b]James Foster [/b]seems to have found some batting form to go with his fine wicket-keeping, unlike [b]Tim Ambrose[/b], who made just 5 for Warwickshire.

[b]Adil Rashid[/b] made a useful 43 in Yorkshire’s first innings, but could only muster one wicket in each innings. [b]Dimitri Mascarenhas [/b]took a 5-fer and contributed useful runs in Hampshire’s unlikely win, while [b]Liam Plunkett[/b] went wicketless on what appeared to be a bowler friendly wicket. [b]Monty Panesar [/b]took six wickets and scored an unbeaten 30 runs, as he committed his future to Northants

[b]Player of the Week[/b]
As always, the context of the match is critical to deciding this, so while [b]Chris Rogers[/b] and [b]Lance Klusener [/b]both made unbeaten double hundred and [b]Mark Davies [/b]recorded the best bowling figures of the season, they don’t make it this week. For an unbeaten 94 which steered Hampshire to an unlikely victory over title chasing Durham, this week’s player of the week is [b]Sean Ervine.[/b]

Sunday, August 31, 2008

the you tube clip of the week

www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

40 over cricket, it's 50 over cricket without the constipation

I don’t understand how 40 over cricket helps English cricket.

I have no idea why the Pro40 seems to be such a major part of the English calendar.

But it is.

And thusly is on Sky about 5 times a week.

Before I came to England I didn’t even know 40 over cricket existed.

Now I am a fan.

The best bit about One day cricket is the start and the end.

The middle is fuckemewitharollingpin boring.

The 20 to 40 over mark.

It’s the accumulation, consolation, the rush through with crap spinner period of the game.

On the odd occasion a side is taking the attack on, or a bowler is ripping through the batsman, and it can be palatable.

That does not happen often.

But in 40 over cricket, half of that is removed.

And the game is 40% more entertaining because of this.

The rules are all similar.

15 over field restrictions, 8 overs per bowler, and the like.

There just doesn’t seem to be as much gentle manipulation of the ball.

It’s like 2020 style cricket, but you need double the ability.

Or as the advert says 2020, with twice the balls.

If it replaced One day cricket tomorrow, I guarantee that you, yes you, would appreciate the new format.

It won’t though.

Which is a shame, because it could ensure that people keep enjoying the one day game.

And even England is getting rid of it, for the betterment of their national team, but to the detriment of their domestic viewers.www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

the price of being famous

After my first ever cricket match at Lords i retreated to a bar with some other more famous cricket writers.

Most of them were smashed due to a large charity walk/run/waddle they had completed earlier.

I was drunk from not wanting to be sober watching England win.

Although I did see a great cricketing moment when Kallis got hit for 20 in one over.

More important than that was back at the bar, when someone recognised my accent from my podcast.

Long time readers may remember when i used to do them.

This guy not only remembered my accent, but he regaled me with a particular vile rant i once uttered about Graeme Smith.

Freaky shit.

But still not as cool as watching Kallis pretend he never bowled that over.www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

South Africa, made of butter?

It’s easy to bag a team out of form.

So let me bag South Africa for a moment.

Graeme Smith is the number 1 rated one day batsman in the world.

He is out injured.

Let us look at the rest of the batsmen South Africa have.

Gibbs â€" well past his best. Just holding onto his position, and is probably there as much because the rest of the batsman are boring.

Should be pensioned off.

Amla - Looked the goods yesterday, but he needs to bat with someone who has after burners, not Jacques Kalli like yesterday.

A possible anchor man if they have the artillery around him.

Kallis â€" looking old and finished right at the moment. Hard to knock someone with his record, but this tour of England is looking horrible. And in the world cup Ponting was hoping to keep him at the crease if you remember.

Gone?

DeVilliers â€" Hard to put a marker on him, has the youth and skill to be a batsman, but seems soft under pressure. Looks like a front runner and is yet to convince me.

10 year player, or a 10 year kolpak player.

Duminy â€" Haven’t seen much of him, but does make some runs. Looks like another flat track, front running South African batsman, which is their forte.

Has the right colour to have a long career, but is he any good?

Boucher â€" Always been South Africa’s best batsman in a scrap. Has more fight then the rest of the team combined. But at 6? That is a proper batting slot.

If he is at 6, what sort of batting does South Africa have?

Morkel â€" Sure he can hit, I can attest to that after watching a six go flying over my head, but you wouldn’t say there is a lot of thinking going on up there.

When the going is tough, can he bat?

England does have a good bowling line up, but, this is a batting line up made of butter, don’t leave it out in the sun too long.

The bowlers.

Steyn â€" where is Dale Steyn? He clearly never turned up to England.

Ntini â€" he is a one day disaster case. Should not be playing one day cricket.

(Supervillian) Morkel â€" bowls well, always looks dangerous, but never cuts a swathe through a line up.

Kallis â€" still Kallis.

(Baby Face) Morkel â€" Is a pretty handy one day bowler, has a great yorker, and you wonder why others get the death overs.

Botha â€" has an action that would make Murali cry. But is hard to get away, even if he can’t get wickets.

Right at the moment this does not look like the recent top ranked one day side.

There are holes everywhere in this line up.

And England, who are up, are slapping them all over the place.

South Africa always play great cricket against average sides, but how many times do they struggle against good teams in form?www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Dale Steyn, a limp penis.

Where the fuck is Dale Steyn?

You know the shit hot fast bowler.

Not this limp penis dragging himself around England.

Dayrl Cullinan said he was the best fast bowler in the world.

My ass he is.

When he was killing Kiwis, perhaps he was, but now, just another bowler.

Players make their reputations on their first trip to England.

Steyn’s reputation is currently flaccid cock.

He was supposed to be the man to scare English mothers, the only person he scared this whole tour has retired.

Steyn is so un frightening at the moment Marcus “buy come into me” Trescothick is thinking about coming back out of retirement just to face him.

8 wickets in 2 tests at 36.

There were some turgid moments, but nothing to really ride home on.

2 wickets in 3 ODI’s at 85 with an economy rate of 6.57.

England is turkey slapping him all around.

What happened?

Did Morne steal his thunder?

Is Gunter putting deep heat in his panties?

Has Ntini raped him?

Because something is not right in the Steyn world, and it sure as shit aint no broken finger.www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig

74 ways to deep-fry a kitten

But only 11 of Australia’s top 15 cricketers required.

The pitch had a little action to it.

It took royalty to make runs.

The Kings XI Punjabi and King Probot were the only two to make real contributions.

Brad Haddin failed again, and the calls for Luke Ronchi sounded louder in my head.

Then the burning kitten torture began.

Mitchell Johnson enjoys the white ball, and he enjoyed fried kittens.

Brett Geeves had never eaten crispy pussy, and even though he didn’t have much time, he still had two helpings.

Then the big bear Cam White came on, and he devoured the last of the kittens, only the underdone small ones that no one else wanted.

And that was that.

This game had a wet pants moment for me, when I saw the big bear Cam White and Future Pm David Hussey (smashed a healthy 20odd) sitting at 1st and 2nd slip respectively.

Oh it was grand.

Also Brett Geeves has let his hair grow, which is a shame, but now has a Dirty Dirk junior beard, so I forgive him.www.cricketwithballs.com... fighting the war on tony greig