Struggling New Zealand face up to life at the bottom

[b]All eyes will soon be on the battle between Australia and South Africa, but a potentially more significant power shift might be occurring in a series contested between teams at the bottom of the Test rankings table.[/b]

Australia’s one-sided Test series with New Zealand represented something of a warm-up for both teams. The Aussies face a South Africa team that has designs on toppling the world number ones, whilst the Black Caps face West Indies in a more direct winner-takes-all meeting: the loser will be confirmed as the worst Test team after Bangladesh.

It is fair to say New Zealand are in a state of disarray (in Test terms at least â€" their prolonged malaise in the longer form of the game has had no impact on their ability to punch above their weight in limited overs cricket.)

The protracted departure of coach John Bracewell has destabilised a team that tastes Test victory on the rarest of occasions â€" they have only won overseas Tests in Zimbabwe and Bangladesh during Bracewell’s five year tenure.

Outspoken Kiwi legend Martin Crowe described New Zealand’s meek surrender in the second Test at Adelaide as his country’s ‘worst moment in Test cricket’, which suggests the only way is up for incoming coach Andy Moles.

Unfortunately this is not true, despite his new charges’ slide to the base of the Test rankings table. They are going in a different direction to Windies, who have been more competitive than the Black Caps since the teams’ last meeting.

New Zealand won the three match series in early 2006 by a 2-0 scoreline but have since been heavily beaten by South Africa, England and Australia, whilst West Indies’ highlights included a Test win in South Africa, a drawn home series against Sri Lanka and a competitive battle with the Aussies.

This is therefore a realistic chance for West Indies to win their first away series against a major nation since 1994/95.

Such a result would be significant for both teams. West Indies would have a tangible reward to go with the feel good factor generated by the Stanford Super Series, whilst New Zealand would be forced to embark on a rebuilding process that has been needed for some time.

Bracewell’s departure follows a rash of senior player retirements, with Stephen Fleming, Chris Cairns, Nathan Astle, Scott Styris, Shane Bond and Craig McMillan all hanging up their black caps in recent years. Moles and skipper Daniel Vettori face a tough transition period and only need to ask their opponents next month about how it feels to be Test cricket’s whipping boys.

[b]Written by Philip Oliver, a sports writer who blogs about cricket betting.[/b]

I've been robbed

There is a new me.

This one posts on yahoo answers.

And takes my best, and some of my average, posts, and puts them up as his own.

Some times he touches them up to make them more him, mostly they are just mine.

The shame of it is he doesn't write/copy about how great Victorians are, that's a low act.

Here are a few of his/my works.

This is a post about Sreesanth ages ago, and he even edited it to say a year ago, clever monkey.

At least he hates South Africans as well, otherwise this could have been embarrassing.

This one is genius though, he copies my live life like you are gilly post, oh the irony.

One of my Sehwag posts, which the people that read th yahoo answers seem to think is pretty good.

I have left comments, so perhaps by the time you get there he will have deleted them.

Which seems like such a waste.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

Geoff is angry, and he has a point, just not a correct one

Geoff Lawson, former ordinary coach of a bunch of teams, says England pulling themselves out of India smells of hypocrisy.

That isn't true, it smells of poo stained undergarments.

But i digress, Lawson believes it is a double standard that the Ashes went on in 2005 after the bombs on the trains, and they left this time.

I have used a similar argument before, only for Australia, and i was right.

Australia wouldn't tour Pakistan, even though they were not the targets.

England left India because people with guns were cutting down Whities.

See the Difference Geoff, its tiny, but its there.

Lawson is not way off the mark here, Terrorism happens everywhere, and as far as i know the only terrorist action ever aimed at cricket directly was at the MCG, and i think it was for a footy game anyway.

But this was different than normal terrorist actions.

Bombs are indiscriminate, they are the lazy way, ot the populist way of getting rid of people.

This was people going from hotel to hotel with guns looking for whities, Poms & Yanks especially, to kill.

The English cricket team stay in hotels.

All cricket teams stay in hotels in India.

Not all teams go in the tube.

The chances of a player being caught in the tube, mid tour, during a terrorist attack, is less than Natalie Portman doing a strip tease act with a cricket bat as a prop for my 30th birthday.

Or at least the same.

So that is the difference, that is why England went home instead of playing 2 useless one dayers.

That is why Harmy doesn't want to tour.

The players are scared, because their nationality, at a hotel they stayed at was targeted.

Terrorism scares them, but indiscriminate bombs in public areas they can live with, they might not like them, but they can live with them, because they are not aimed at them.

This was aimed at them, and for someone like harmy, who would have never left the north of england without cricket, that is scary.

And with all that in mind England are planning on coming back, "The ECB has informed the Indian board it has agreed to tour India and play two tests, the first at Chennai from December 11-15 and the second at Mohali from December 19-23. The tour will be officially cleared after discussions between the ECB's security consultant and officials in India, N Srinivasan, the BCCI secretary, said."

Maybe without Harmy, but he doesn't like travelling at the best of times.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

Roy is fine, thanks for asking

"All of a sudden everyone is asking questions about him. I'm not sure why that is,"
Ricky Ponting

The him is Roy.

And Ponting is not sure why people want to ask questions about him.

He's a funny man that Ponting.

It's like he lives in a different world (thanks rob) than the rest of us.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

A perfect way to end for Braces

It would have felt a little wrong had the Kiwis got their act together and drawn the test.

Bracewell took over a team ranked 3rd in the world in tests, and he turned it into a handy one day side.

They are now the 8th ranked side in the world.

And Braces can be proud of that.

He brought in some great innovations like the disposable top order.

The Prince Brendan can save it all.

Iain O'Brien.

Playing bits and pieces all rounders like they are real cricketers.

Jeetan Patel's orange cutting.

The ICL exodus.

And may others.

The man was a genius.

Look at all the success he has brought New Zealand cricket.

They have made semi finals of something.

I am sure.

Well his ex charges have been quite successful in the ICL and County cricket, so that is something.

He certainly has said alot of things.

So let us finish his career with his own words.

“I back myself to be part of the team and contribute to it.”

You can't argue with that.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

Isaac Asimov invents new bat

Bat manufacturers get bored.

There are so many rules involved, and basically all bats look the same.

So some dude over at Gray-Nicolls has seen Roy’s new reserve sweep off the back of the bat, and thought, that would be easier without the point bit on the back.

And fuck me with a feather, he took it off.

A 2020 speciality bat that you can use either side of.

I think it is called the t20 gray-nicholls, and it is not legal yet.

It looks like a big paddle, and may have a good market in initiation ceremonies as well.

The first problem they will have, if they get it legal, is the fact that batsman may not trust it for the conventional big hits.

Channel 9 did a special on it.

They got Mark Taylor to use it, being the 2020 specialist in the box.

He said it felt a little tinny when playing a normal shot, but it seemed to do the reverse things it was designed for quite well.

And just so I can get all the miss spelled google hits this new wand may inspire: tee 20 grey nicholls, twenty20 grey nicols, tt02 gray nickels, and twenty fat gay pickles.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

lunch day 4

Oh New Zealand.

Did they even try?

Redmond slashes it to point, Ryder pushes one to cover, and Taylor pops one back to Lee.

How was the only one who was really done with a cracker.

And the catch, oh the catch, at full stretch and then some Ponting gets horizontal and the arm hairs billowing as he holds it in the fingers.

Later on Flynn was done by a Johnson quick reversed one, he doesn’t like them quick.

But it was Lee’s session, he bowled great, even if a few wickets were given to him.

Haddin was in the news again.

Slater talked about how well he has been keeping since he got back to Australia, completely ignoring his drop in Brisbane.

Now he has a better drop to show for himself.

It was spectacularly shithouse.

In the end he was mid air to one he didn’t have to jump to, and looked as if he was slapping it to the ground.

The ball went quick, but there is no doubt he lost the plot.

His 160 was fucking nice, but if he can’t catch, he is not of much use to Australia, later in the session he missed a couple from Hauritz as well.

Recently Chris Hartley from Queensland was saying Australia might need to go back to a proper keeper since the bowlers aren’t as good, and less chances will be coming.

I thought he just wanted his name to be mentioned, but with Haddin regularly missing chances, he may have a point, and only Hartley and Crosthwaite can really keep, but neither can bat at 7 in this test team.

That is still a better problem to have than having your whole top order give their wicket away like a trailer trash virgin.

This is a sad session for the kiwis, losing 5 wickets is shit, but losing 5 top order wickets is much much shit.

Their team doesn't look that bad, so maybe this is the John Bracewell memorial batting effort.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside