lunch day two

Australia show there is still a bit of bite in the old girl yet.

Only Taylor is really putting it to them.

Jesse played the shots, and looked the guy, Brad Haddin agreed so much he snatched a drop in front of Hayden.

All 5 of Australian seam bowlers bowled well at times, but the Kiwis are still scoring quite well.

4/100odd is a good session for Australia, and a good one for New Zealand.

Sure they lost too many wickets, but they are half way to the total, and they bat down to 8.

Redmund went out first nut, which amused Tony Greig no end, caught second slip.

How looked good for a while, but got a ripper from Lee which went straight through him.

Jesse, oh Jesse, the commentators are already in love with him, Bill especially.

And he looked good, even though Haddin did drop him, but eventually he chased a fucken ugly ball from Watson and was caught behind.

Then Prince Brendan came in, his record in test cricket against Australia is rubbish, so he lived up to that by slicing one to slip of Mitchell.

Taylor is looking good, but maybe that is because Flynn is at the other end.

Lee was the pick of the bowlers, but all of them had their moments, although Watson bowled an odd spell. Roy bowled well though.

Highlight of the morning had to be Jesse almost losing his nuts off Lee, and then Lee patting his head after doing a weird oral sex thing with his mouth.

Great test cricket session, wickets, runs, and jesse.

A lot rests on Vettori from here.

cricketwithballs

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previously in the test

Australia

Couldn't handle the moving ball, redux.

Have Clarke to thank for having any total at all.

Yet to shake off the diddums of India.

New Zealand

Took the balls by the sack and sent Austraila in.

Did well with the ball, had a few times where they let the game drift, but with some luck against Clarke could have knockced Austrlia off for 150 at most.

Southee gave erections to a few Kiwis who thought only a little blue pill could do that these days.

Who is in front

New Zealand because no matter what you say, Australia has only made 214.

Ofcourse, if we look at the gabba results from this year, you will see Queensland have batted first twice, once for 236, a game they won, and once for 245, a game they lost.

So while New Zealand holds sway, they will know that there are 3 innings to go.

Play of the day

A fucking 8.

Not sure I have ever seen an 8 before, after Symonds slaped a pull shot a foot or so from the rope, he and Clarke hoofed 4 runs, and then Prince Brendan had a convulsion and tried to run out Symonds who was retty much behind the stumps as the ball went past them, and then the ball went past everyone for 4 overthrows.

Resulting in 8 runs in one ball.

What a way to get Roy feeling cocky as O'Brien picked him up straight afterward.

Brilliant play.

Testicular moment of the day

Tim Southee may only be slightly removed from being the gleam in his fathers eye, but he strode out onto the Gabba and gave the day to his country.

That takes real balls, regardless of the friendly conditions.

Working Class man of the day

Clarke worked himself into a lather today.

The anorexic (today he was) batsman really foight hard to give Australia a decent total.

And also shut up assholes like me, for a little while.

What the fuck moment of the day

There was a classic moment at one stage where O'brien was coming into Clarke and had to stop as part of the stand fell down from the overnight storms.

And it sort of made a loud farting noise.

cricketwithballs
www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

pup takes baby steps

4/141

3/216

4/128

3/284

4/257

3/206

3/199

These are the scores when Michael Clarke has come to the wicket and made hundreds.

Not one score under 128 when he has come in.

Today he almost did it.

98 out of 214 coming in at 3/23 goes some way to placating me, and the many of us who think he only makes runs when there is a flat pitch and a platform.

Today he was streaky early on, most of his earlier boundaries were from the outside of his bat to third man.

But he fought it out.

I have never doubted his talent, or how much he wants to play for Australia.

But when he comes in and the ball is moving and his team mates are falling, his head gets muddled and he makes more mistakes than usual.

He was lucky on day one.

The edges didn’t go to hand, and his good record at the Gabba remains.

I will put this one in the plus column for him.

The Vice Captaincy seems to have made him a better batsman.

And he may well make it to the next level, but he still has a long way to go to prove himself to a lot of cricket fans.

But if he slips back, hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

England's reality and our fantasy

England are the most creative side in world cricket.

Not in field settings or bowling tacts, but in the different ways they can lose a cricket game.

Losing a one dayer for bad light now.

Outstanding.

Just when they had corrected the horrible opening partnership as well.

More importantly here is the standings for the jelly bean cup in the cricinfo fantasy league.

Position Manager Team Name Points 01 sidbetala Adams Apple 11 3072 02 cjdunning Mumbai CA XI 2641 03 Chinois The Silly Point 2502 04 _Vijendra 22Balls 2483 05 nestaquin The Vindaloos 2434 06 FlySlip flyslips xi 2264 07 cafh sloth and heathen xi 2255 08 Aashrey Ball Busters 2209 09 DonQ Qs Betting Syndicate 2202 10 timsingh Forced to Pick Englishmen 2183 11 JoFitz More Random Blokes 2164 12 Miriam eleven for 11/11 2079 13 12_Man Jelly Bellies 2058 14 neighbourofthebeast AlooBoys 1986 15 chrismar Ego Exceeding Ability 1840 16 ExCon ExConRetards 1789 17 Whatawaste SandgroperXI 1786 18 Carrotovich Carrots Crew 1770 19 j-rod *LM ICL Auditions 1599 20 LisaW Random Experimental XI 1551 21 MagLev Belly Jeans 1475 22 Dibyo The_Other_Side 1223 23 banh_ki-moon sack ponting as captain 1002 24 Obi2 zz fly 735

I'm in a yuvraj less funk, plus i keep picking guys who don't play.

Q, last tournaments champion is struggling in 9th.

But he likes to cum from behind.

The Adam's Apple XI of sidbetala has done well even without the Adam's Apple playing much.

And Obi2's mob are horribly placed at the moment.

The battle for the best named team is going on as well.

Personally i like the name Sack Ponting as captain, not because i agree with the sentiment, but because POnting is not in this series.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

Braddin your time is now

I knew Brad Haddin would get the number one keeping job.

I wouldn’t have picked him, but the selectors now love picking well performed 30 year olds, and Haddin had been the apprentice for so long, Ronchi never stood a real chance.

If that is how they are doing it, so be it, but 8 tests in and where are the performances.

His keeping has been average, at best, he has played injured instead of letting replacements in, his batting, while being handy, has not been near his shield standard, and so far he has not provided any impact.

Going out to a Jesse Ryder straight one, with a loose shot on the up.

He is lucky though, because Luke Ronchi has not been firing for the Warriors this year.

If he was, Haddin might be told he has the summer to settle the spot.

The only keeper in Australia to be batting at an average over 30 is Tim Paine.

And this is his first full year of wicket keeping at shield level.

The boy is a freak, no doubt, but he has never had a full break out year with the bat, and it took him forever to get rid of Clingleffer for the main spot with the gloves.

All this is helping Haddin, but the selectors wont keep him around forever, in India he was batted ahead of Cameron White, so the selectors still believe in him, but for how long.

He is older than Ronchi and Paine, and the one thing we know about Ronchi is impact.

The boy is all impact, and when Haddin let him come in for the one dayers in the West Indies Ronchi made 60 odd off 30 odd.

People tend to remember that.

Now Haddin is at home, on the pitches that suit him, he has to perform.

Australia is not good enough to carry someone anymore.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

In bed with MS Dhoni

Long time readers may well acquainted with the In bed with... series. If not, feel free to browse other titles in the collection. Jacques Kallis, Monty, Mike Hussey, Daniel Vettori, and Shane Watson.

But remember these are adults only, as children should be shielded from sex at all costs, because it is not a natural part of life.

You hear about him before you see him, he doesn't have much of a reputation, but there is a buzz about him.

But then after a drunken night you find yourself in a closet with him, and while he doesn’t move the way you would like, he gets the job done.

The quickies are fun with him, and you decide he could be a keeper.

So you set about planning a long term relationship with him, but he doesn’t perform for you at all, at times he has trouble even getting erect.

You figure the long term serious stuff is not his thing, so you break it off.

Occasionally you text a young guy, and there are still the odd rendezvous with your favourite classy old man.

But there is something about MS, maybe it’s the hair, and you can’t discard him so easily.

You have fun with him, and more than often he gets you off, you can’t really argue with that.

He keeps calling and calling, and eventually you fall for him again, this time it’s by his terms, and then you’re in an ongoing casual thing with him.

With him in charge it all goes great, but you still think you may want more, but he has nothing of it, and even though not everything runs smoothly, you trust his judgement.

Then your relationship goes back to the quickie mode, usually you’d be disappointed with the frivolous nature, but you are besotted by him now.

Usually you’d need two other beaus at once to feel this excited, but you haven’t returned the calls of Partiv in ages, and Anil can no longer get you there.

You have decided Dhoni is going to be your guy, but the constant speed gets to him, he needs a break.

It cuts you deep, and you doubt whether he is going to be there in the long run.

You continue seeing the older gentleman and even the younger guy, even though you know it isn’t the same.

Dhoni gets jealous by this and comes back out of the woodwork, now he seems fit and hungry, and he is even willing to do things with you that you cannot believe.

At first these strange erotic things worry you, but in his soft hands you feel secure.

However now he seems calmer and more mature, might be the new hair, and you let him be in charge anyway he wants to.

When you first feel that silk scarf around your neck, ever tightening, you start to panic, but he puts you at ease, and by the end, you and him fall deeper in love.

You know he is the man for you, your heart skips a beat every time he waddles in your direction.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside

How far have Australia fallen

OK so they are clearly not as good as they used to be.

But how many sides in world cricket would drop a bloke who took 12 wickets in the test before, regardless of the conditions.

cricketwithballs

www.cricketwithballs.com... We constantly get sodomized down the legside