Thursday, December 4, 2008

cricket myths #74

The Lord Megachief of Gold’s (aka Shivnarine Chanderpaul) technique is the weirdest thing this side of a Lynch film.

His technique is really not that weird.

He stance is.

By the time the ball is bowled he is usually in the standard side on position waiting for the ball.

It’s not a pretty technique, but it is pretty standard really.

People just have trouble looking past the eye make up, the general scruffiness and the fact all his equipment looks too big for him.


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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sachin has a Bollyfro

Sunny sent me a link to Sachin's first taped interview.

I just put it up here for the hair.

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Sehwagology XI

And he sent his only sons.

11 men with rock hard testicles, and great hand eye co-ordination.

And he said, they will carve, they will plunder, and you will applaud.

Victor Trumper, he shall go in early, and reek havoc on the bowlers.

Michael Slater, he shall jump around like a virgin in hell, and reek havoc in the change room.

Viv Richards, he shall be cooler than anyone you know, or don’t know.

Mark Waugh, he shall make mullets and dandruff ads palatable, whilst flicking one off his pads.

Sanath Jayasuriya, he shall be a pirate, and conquer the 7 seas.

Keith Miller, he shall be your superhero.

Adam Gilchrist, he shall release a plague of locusts on your ass.

Ian Botham, he shall drink the opposition under the table.

Kapil Dev, he shall dance for us.

Shahid Afridi, he shall reek havoc and destruction, on himself.

Wasim Akram, he shall be faster than you can see.

And on the 5th day, they rest.


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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Vincent gives you the basics, who better to take over while I am gone

Since the terrorists ended Victoria's shot at glory, I am going on holiday.

I will be gone for one week.

I am taking a laptop with me, so i might pop in with some fresh content if the mood hits me.

But don't fret little one, I wouldn't leave you in the lurch, completely.

Each day there is a touch or two of ballsy goodness.

Hope you enjoy.

To start you off i have a Vincent Price clip where he explains cricket to the americans with props.

I love Vincent, and while he is not in full form in this clip, it is still pretty cool.


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2008, the year of the trundler

Australia's spinners, the ugliness has been spread around.

Hogg 2 tests

We started with Hogg, why, because MacGill was injured and stroppy, and instead of trusting the most inform spinner in the country, McGain, they went with the one day spinner.

It was a mistake, if Yuvraj and Gunguly didn’t play, Hogg would have killed himself. Instead, he retired.

MacGill 2 tests

Then MacGill was ‘fit’, so he was rushed backed into the side. He was not fit, he was not motivated, and decided to give it up. The problem was Australia selectors did not think this was a possibility. Instead of taking the next best spinner in the country, they took a project player.

Even MacGill has said McGain should have been taken. He wasn’t and Casson was given a test.

Beau Casson 1 test

Casson was no where in Australian spinning. I wrote about the best 7 or so spinners in shield cricket mid way through last year, and he wasn’t on it. I saw him bowl on the same pitch McGain took a five for, and he was ordinary, Victoria treated him like a part timer. I assumed he was playing as a batsman.

Then he took wickets in his last 3 or 4 matches, and he took a fair few, some of them were taken head to head against McGain in the shield final, a game where McGain was injured and Victoria had a impossible chase on the last day but they had a crack anyway and Casson cashed in.

This, and the fact MacGill was fit, meant he got a ticket to the Windies, and then a test match, as flying McGain over for a dead test was never going to happen. He picked up 3 wickets and bowled average, then he was shafted. Now they look to have ruined his confidence forever.

Picking Hauritz before him was like getting his Grandmother to shit down his throat, after the rest of the family have had their turn. By the time he is feeling better, others will be ahead of him.

White 4 tests

Was picked under the" he can bat a bit and when he was younger he bowled ok" ruling for India. The selection never really made sense, and when Krejza came in and did well, it made even less sense.

White hardly bowled for Victoria in the previous season, and in general struggles to bowl to good players of spin. So picking him was their way of saying, the rest of you suck.

4 tests, can you believe it.

Krejza 1 test

According to Tim Neilson, was held back until he was ready. Lucky he wasn’t played a week earlier, that could have been disastrous. I thought he was the best spinner behind McGain, and that still looks correct, his 12 wickets are hard to really judge, but his bowling was good, and he stood under the pressure.

He would be pissed to miss the Gabba, and then Radelaide, especially being replaced by a club spinner, but will definitely play in Melbourne and Sydney.

Hauritz 1 test

Who the hell knows. Ricky seems to think he bowled ok, Jeremy Coney and Paul Allot gave him some stick on sky, I thought he was lucky, to get a test and wickets.

I would have preferred Xavier Doherty or Aaron Heal really.

McGain, never mind

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"our worst moment in Test cricket"

That is what Martin Crowe said of the Kiwis heavy loss in Adelaide.

That is a big call.

New Zealand have had many great failures, and who better than sports freak to advise you of them.

As bad as this loss was, i don't think it was as painful as South Africa recently, or the time WALter Hadlee's boys got kicked out of the big league.

And after all, this was the golden handshake game for Braces.

So it can't be your worst moment, although it should get a place in the top 5.

Then again i believe everything Martin Crowe says.

Hence why i know he is not gay.

This is a dilemma.

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Take em down Reg

The England are touring, the Indians said so.

But what have the English said?

Nothing, Giles Clarke has them all holed up in an underground bunker with caviar and busty beer wenches.

Things are in motion above ground, Reg Dickason is on the case.

Usually this means he arrives at an airport, has a pancake and leaves.

Well that is how the champions grab for cash cup was cancelled.

He turned up, asked the dude at the airport pancake place how Pakistan was, and left.

Why, because white teams were never going to tour Pakistan.

Reg’s results usually end up amazingly similar the thoughts of whomever has sent him over.

So this time I expect his report to say, its fine, play a warm up in bumfuch Idaho, and then get over there.

Because that seems to be the general consensus, Harmy excluded.

Reg will sort it out though, smooth it over, he is like Harvey Ketiel in Pulp Fiction.

The Indian government should let him in there to pick off the remaining terrorists with his killer moustache.

Pow.

Pow Pow.

Kappow.

He’d teach them a lesson, and make this a safer world to play cricket in.


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